RECAP: The Vampire Diaries, The Return

When I tuned in to The Vampire Diaries’ pilot last year, I was expecting a flop, or at least a few good laughs. When the end credits rolled I was shocked. I liked it. A lot. Ever since then I have been a devoted fan and have never missed an episode.

This day has been marked on my calendar for at least a month. The Vampire Diaries season premiere: September 9 at 7 p.m.  At 6:45 I started trolling the Internet for a new cookie recipe to try. I found one for peanut butter triple chocolate chunk cookies. Needless to say, I got a bit distracted. I randomly glanced at the top right hand corner of my lovely MacBook Pro…it’s 7:07. Crap.

Luckily, I don’t think I missed a lot in those first seven minutes. I tuned in just in time to see Damon confront Elena about their supposed kiss – a scene that I am ashamed to say; I had to replay on YouTube. Elena is confused, Damon gets defensive, Aunt Jenna actually has a few lines and then Damon starts to piece it all together. Katherine’s back.

Oh Damon, I’ve definitely missed you on my television screen. I’m glad the famous eyebrow raise and smart-ass comments are back in my life.

There’s some exchanges between characters I don’t particularly care about: Caroline’s all right, Matt is relieved, Uncle John is paranoid that Katherine’s back, Tyler’s substantially hotter uncle shows up, Jeremy is moping around as usual, Bonnie is off being a witch.

Stefan and Katherine have a talk. He drops the bomb that he never loved her. Ouch. Katherine whips a dagger out of nowhere and rams it into Stefan’s side. Bitch is pissed.

Melancholy music plays as Damon laments. Katherine appears. Halfway through the discarding of clothes, Damon poses the inevitable question.  He has a heart, ladies and gentlemen and it’s been shattered for over 140ish years. And the truth is: she never loved him. She loved Stefan. It was always Stefan. *cue the most heartbreaking expression ever* Man, the guy just can’t win.

A drunken Damon shows up in Elena’s room. What is it with vampires and bedrooms? He tries to get Elena to admit that there is something between them. In a complete déjà-vu Elena tells Damon that she loves Stefan. It’s always going to be Stefan. A double-whamy in one night. Can I just give him a hug now?

Tyler’s confused why he gets so hot and bothered easily. Hot Uncle tells him that it’s in his blood. It’s a curse. I think it’s safe to say he’s a werewolf. Can we get some original vampire storylines here?

Jeremy is resurrected after being seemingly killed by Damon. Katherine smothers Caroline to “death.” Never liked her, I’m okay with this.

I think it’s safe to say The Vampire Diaries is off to a good sophomore season. As long as Damon and Stefan don’t start sparkling in the sun, it’s all good. I think the world can only handle one glittery vampire.

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