It’s been two days since the landmark Richard centric episode aired. If you’re like me, you’re still sitting on your futon with your jaw dropped and eyes locked on your television screen with your mind still completely blown. For six years, Lost fans have been puzzled by Richard, the non-aging and eyeliner-wearing inhabitant of the island ; and now, we finally have [some] answers.

The only thing that really bugged me about this episode was the subtitles. It turns out that five years of Spanish truly did nothing for me.  I was literally lost in translation (nice pun). I hate having to read and watch at the same time. The last movie I saw with subtitles was the Passion of the Christ in 2004, and with 10+ years of Catholic school education under my belt, the movie was easy to follow. But this is Lost! You need to pay attention for the whole hour so you don’t get an ulcer from the stress of trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Oh and when Hurley was shown speaking in Spanish for the 2.5 seconds before Richard’s flashback began, my first thought was “Please, for the love of Jacob don’t be Ana Lucia.” I truly despised that character.

After five seasons, we’ve been led to believe that the island is some mysterious, time-traveling capable mass of land somewhere in the South Pacific. Nope, it’s a cork (at least metaphorically). First, I’d like to mention how awesome it was when Jacob opened that can of whoop-ass on Richard (pardon me, Ricardo). The man seemingly incarnate of all things good knows how to pack a punch and administer a rather violent baptism in the ocean. Ninja Jacob explains the island using a bottle with wine to Richard. All of the evil of the world is the wine — trapped inside the bottle by the cork aka the island, the only thing keeping the evil at bay.

Last thing, how ridiculous was the priest Richard confessed his murder to?!  I may be putting my Catholic knowledge to the test, but I am pretty sure as long as you’re truly remorseful in your heart (which it seemed he genuinely was), you can be forgiven up until the moment of your death. In my eyes, Richard completely had permission to slap the priest up side the head…although that would probably be a sin. God probably doesn’t take violence to the clergy lightly.

Is the island purgatory? Are all of our favorite characters really dead? And most importantly, who will be Jacob’s substitute? Well, we’ve got eight more episodes to find out.

photo credit: Dark UFO