RECAP: Glee, Never Been Kissed

 

I really should be writing a paper that’s due in t-minus 12 hours, but I don’t care. Glee, you my friend, are on a roll. Three decent episodes in a row? What kind of game are you playing? I seriously haven’t yelled at the television that much since last year’s season premire of Lost. It was even enough for my roommate to shout from her room, “And tonight’s Glee commentary is brought to you by Kate!”

First, I’m loving this whole equal-screentime-for-the-entire-cast thing that’s been going on recently. Every character had at least one line and had their moment to shine during the mash-up numbers. The only thing that would have made this episode better is a reaction from Puck about Sam & Quinn. I kept waiting for an epic bro-throwdown and was sadly letdown. Puck needs to lose the gages, but he made an X-Men reference tonight, so he’s back in my good books. Although, he was more of an ass-hole than usual tonight and is back to his playa ways. But thank God the nipple ring is finally gone.

So, the episode’s title, “Never Been Kissed” applied to the two characters of Kurt and Beiste. Technically Kurt’s been kissed “but not one that mattered” and Beiste is the female version of the 40-year-old virgin. These two moments were when I yelled a constant stream of four lettered words. Looking back, it is clear as day that Karofsky is so far in the closet he’s approaching Narnia.  But still, I was thrown for a complete loop when he planted a wet one on Kurt and then went back for seconds. Mind, meet brain explosion. That doesn’t even compare to the Beiste / Will kiss, however. I swear my television burst into flames. We didn’t need to see that…really. Yes, she’s a 40-year-old who is still a member of the Virgin Lip Club, that sucks. But in the end all she got was a pity kiss from a guy who was probably thinking about the not-so-anymore-mysophobic guidance counselor.

Onto Kurt and Blaine. While I find Kurt already having a framed picture of Blaine in his locker is mildly creepy and I laughed hysterically during their slow-mo run down the hallway, I loved the whole “Teenage Dream” sequence. I’m late to the “Teenage Dream” party, I don’t understand how I had never heard that song before. But anyways, I’m a fan of it now. I had previewed the scene when it leaked last week week and I’ve been fangirling for the past few days. I’m thinking that since Ryan Murphy dropped that he wants Kurt and his boyfriend to be Prom King and King that Karofsky will end up opening the closet door soon and become Kurt’s first BF. Don’t know how I feel about this yet, there’s a part of me still on the Kurt/Sam train…TBD. Oh and this Darren Criss fellow? I approve.

Another plus of the episode, hardly any Finchel disgustingness and lots of Sam/Quinn & Mike/Tina. Sue also made her comedic moment for the night with her confetti cannons and her one-on-one chat with Quinn. What I like about watching Glee is that I don’t have an OTP yet, unless there is a bunch of Finchel, I am usually not disappointed on the relationship front.

There is a paper on Modern Militant Islamic Ideology calling my name, so I should probably peace out. But this week’s worth of television is turning out to be just as quality as last week’s and that makes for one happy television fanatic.

RECAP: Glee, Duets

Welcome back, Glee. You have come back to the greatness we all knew you were capable of. The return of the witty one-liners, quality songs that did the originals justice and the classic humor we have come to know and love totally made up for the absence of Sue Sylvester and the lackluster previous three episodes.

Quinn/Sam/Kurt

I am loving Sam Evans. Chord Overstreet handles comedy very well, he has a nice voice, I actually don’t mind his bleached-blonde Bieber hairdo, and hellooooo six pack.

But most surprising of all, I really don’t care whether he is paired with Quinn or with Kurt. Shocking? I know. His scenes with Quinn were adorable and yeah, Puck is going to kick his ass. But there was something just so sweet about the two of them (even though they look like they could be siblings…new storyline?), “Lucky” was pure cotton candy and the boy is a smooth talker. Except for the whole speaking Na’vi thing, it might be a little early to show that much of your inner geek.

Sam’s scenes with Kurt weren’t even overly awkward. The shower scene might have been a tad too much, but the dude was definitely flirting back…add that to the lingering glances during their performances and it makes me think that Quinn and Sam might not be going on many more dates…Sam said he went to an all-boys school, maybe they’ll pull a One Tree Hill and we find out that he left because word got out he played for the other team?

Finn/Rachel

You know it’s a good episode of Glee when Rachel doesn’t make me want to reach through the television screen and slap her. Their rendition of “With You I’m Born Again” was rememberable to say the least and “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” was pumped full of the typical cheesewiz and cutsie moments. Pardon me while I gag.

Santana/Brittany/Artie/Tina/Mike

The rest of the club ended up in a huge love pentagon. Some Santana/Brittany action finally made it to the screen, which was a complete déjà vu of, season one Nip / Tuck. Santana tells Brittany she’s only with her because Puck is in juvie, to make her jealous Brittany deflowers Artie to help him get over Tina, who is still in the Asian Fusion with Mike. Confused yet?

And then there’s Mercedes, who apparently gets no love. But her “River Deep, Mountain High” duet with Santana was catchy and watching the club’s reaction to their booty bounce was certainly amusing.

Of course as soon as things take a turn for the better, the show goes away for two weeks. I’ve never seen The Rocky Horror Show, but from what I’ve heard this is the kind of thing that makes the execs at the FOX Network freak. Shall be interesting.

RECAP: Glee, Grilled Cheesus

Who knew that Brittany would ever be the voice of wisdom?

I’m going to keep this short and sweet so I don’t end up just bashing Glee for 800 words. Last night’s episode “Grilled Cheesus” was just not my cup of tea. None of the six songs featured made it to my iPod, there was only one quote that made it to my quote book, one of my favorite songs was butchered and the religious overlying theme was a tad overpowering for my taste. I don’t understand how people were crying and claiming this was the best episode of Glee yet.  I didn’t cry. I hardly paid attention…although that may have been partly to the two lovebirds making small talk a few feet away from me. I am of the opinion that Glee needs to stick with the happy-go-lucky. They just do it so much better.

I’ll leave you with a few of my main [unpopular] thoughts:

  1. Am I the only one at all disturbed that Finn ate what had to be an at least three days old cold grilled cheese?
  2. Music overall grade? D. “One of Us” by Joan Osborne is one of my most favorite songs ever. Okay, maybe saying it was “butchered” is a bit of an overstatement, but it was nowhere near as great as the original. “Bridge Over Troubled Water” is also a favorite of mine…not anymore. The autotune on “Losing My Religion” and “Only the Good Die Young” was out of control. This is why critics and viewers alike claim that the cast can’t actually sing.
  3. Religion is not particularly a touchy subject for me, but it is definitely not on the top of my list of subjects I like to talk about. Just don’t bash my beliefs and I won’t bash yours. Kurt can’t have been the only person in that glee club who doesn’t believe in God. To that end, so what if he doesn’t believe in God? I found it really surprising how personal everyone took it. The only character so far who has been portrayed as being exceptionally religious is Quinn and she had what…two lines? I felt like the whole notion of God was being forced down my throat the whole episode. Not appreciated.
  4. Has anyone noticed how no one on television seems to have two parents anymore? Rachel is the only character so far who has two parents. Finn’s dad died. Kurt’s mom died. Puck has a deadbeat dad. Quinn’s dad left her mom. And we haven’t even met most of the glee kids’ families yet. The go-to device for emotional television seems to be sending a parent to the hospital. We all know that Burt is going to be okay, he’s a regular now. The producers wouldn’t promote him to regular status for the one episode he dies in. If the only reason for Burt’s heart attack was to get Chris Colfer crying in an episode, it wasn’t worth it.

So this ended up being roughly 500 words. My bad. I have been so disappointed with Glee this season. But I can’t seem to stop watching.

SUE QUOTE OF THE NIGHT: [to Will] “If your kids want to praise Jesus in class I suggest they enroll at Sweet Holy Mother of God Academy on I Love Jesus Street.”

RECAP: Glee, Britney / Brittany

It’s Britney, bitch.

It’s no secret that I heart Britney. Going to her concert last year was a pre-teen fantasy come true and I didn’t even get a Britney Circus whip. When Glee paid tribute to Madonna last year, it didn’t even phase me. The only Madonna song I was aware of was her duet with Britney on “Me Against the Music” and I only knew of “Like a Virgin” through Moulin Rouge. It didn’t really matter to me if they did her justice or crapped on her career.

When it was confirmed they were doing an all Britney (plus one random Paramore song) episode, it made me nervous. They’re walking a thin line here, it better be great. Britney cannot be imitated. The covers needed to be something new and completely different.

The first time I listened to the Glee covers of the songs in this episode, I was seriously underwhelmed. I’m sorry Lea Michele, but you have an amazing voice but you cannot pull off Britney. I was decently impressed but Heather’s voice, but it was nothing special. She has no real power when she sings. Stick to dancing, girl is fierce. At first I hated “Toxic,” and I mean HATED it…I’ve grown to somewhat like it. Okay, it’s constantly on repeat. “Stronger” is probably my next favorite after “Toxic” but the rest…I really could do without.

Can I pose the obvious question of why Dianna wasn’t given a solo for this episode? She doesn’t have the strongest voice of the Glee-bunch, but she would have been the closest match to Britney. How sweet would it have been for Quinn to sing “Sometimes” to Puck?

The whole hallucinatory Britney-effect was hard to believe and yes, I know this is tv land. It seemed like an excuse to get John Stamos onscreen. He is an interim character, he is the Mike Chang of his love triangle.  I’m sorry, but it’s time for the “Asian fusion” to end. I am so happy that Artie is actually fighting for her. We all know that Will/Emma and Artie/Tina are endgame.

Can Finn and Rachel break up NOW, please? I cannot stand her character. She’s needy, incredibly insecure when it comes to Finn and is willing to change who she is for him and uses Quinn, my favorite female character, as a pawn in her quest for Finn’s affection. Quinn looked genuinely depressed during “My Only Exception.” Finn or Puck, I don’t care which, just give the girl some love.

There is one last subject of discussion: Jacob. Ben. Israel. The kid is comic relief, but tonight was complete overkill. I don’t want to know about his naked butt sweat stains. I don’t want to see him jizz in his pants. There was no need for “The Britney Sex Riot.”

Overall, the episode was not Glee’s best but it matches the caliber of “Audition” and last season’s back nine. I don’t know what to think of the promo for next week’s religion themed episode, but if they butcher Joan Osborne’s “One of Us,” shit is going to hit the fan.

SUE QUOTE OF THE NIGHT: [to Will] “I’m going to take your house, your car, your extensive collection of vests. I mean seriously, you wear more vests than the cast of ‘Blossom’.

RECAP: Glee, Auditions

I can’t say that Glee’s season premiere floored me. Sure it had its highlights: Newly reinstated Head-Bitch-In-Charge Quinn taking down Santana in the hallway, Asian camp (nuff said) and the whole “Glee’s Big Gay Summer” recap. So much win. On the downside, there were no Sue Sylvester one-liners I found overwhelmingly funny, Coach Beiste is an eye sore and the Finchel PDA has got to go.

I’m also not loving this Sam Evans character yet. Okay, I admit “Billionaire” has pretty much been on repeat since I got the web rip last Thursday, kid’s got a nice voice. But his taking Finn’s quarterback position and being a possible love interest for both Quinn and Kurt makes me doubt I will like his character. Quinn needs to be single or at least until Finn comes to his senses and dumps the annoying bitch. And I agree that Chord Everstreet’s unnaturally large mouth and J. Bieb’s haircut is distracting. By the way, what kind of a name is “Chord Everstreet”? Aren’t there laws against child abuse?

The music, however, was pretty great. I’ve already sung the praises of “Billionare” and the other four songs were just as quality.  The cast managed to make “Empire State of Mind” bearable for me, I’m no Alicia Keys fan. Minus some highly obvious autotune, Lea Michele and Charice did a good job with “Telephone”. Their respective solos “Listen” and “What I Did For Love” were also very well done.

Glee has proven in episodes such as “Throwdown”, “Wheels” and “Journey” that it can master comedy, drama and musical numbers in perfect harmony. Ever since the series went big, things haven’t been the same. It is clear that there is now a bigger budget and they are trying too hard to please the fans. Some of the magic was recaptured in last season’s finale and I was hoping that it would carry over to this season. Unfortunately this did not happen.

I know there are many who enjoyed the premiere and I don’t want to rain on your parade, but you have to admit, Glee just isn’t the same as it used to be. I am however optimistic that things will improve over the course of this season. They are already taking steps in the right direction and the Britney episode looks “outrageous”.

As always, fellow gleeks, don’t stop believing.

FALL TV WISHLIST: Glee

The fall television premieres are drawing closer and this television fanatic cannot wait. Every year I like to make a wish-list of certain things I would like to see happen on a particular show. My record is fairly sucky, I tend to root for couples that don’t stand a chance or the death of a character that is vital to the series (*cough* Peyton *cough*). I have made wish-lists for the shows that I plan to watch this coming fall. There are a lot of shows, so don’t judge.

Glee –-> Season 2, September 21 @ 7- FOX

Glee‘s mix reviewed first season ended on a high note. However I have high expectations for the hit show’s sophomore season. Not least of which is the Britney Spears tribute episode, which better be freaking epic. From interviews I’ve seen, Ryan Murphy & Co. are making some good changes (fewer songs and more dialogue, more Mike Chang, Brittany and Santana) and some I find questionable (Finn/Rachel together the entire season and Tina falling out of love with Artie). If it’s not too much, creative team, I have a few requests:

  1. More Quinn: Quinn has become my favorite character on the show and I can’t wait or her to be the HBIC of McKinley High again. Quinn’s screen time slowly dwindled last season, which needs to change and give the girl some solos! Dianna Agron admittedly has one of the weakest voices in the cast, but I personally loved “Papa Don’t Preach.” I like Quinn with both Finn and Puck, so I don’t necessarily care where they take that storyline. Since it seems like they are choosing to go the Puck route, I will at least need some interaction between Finn and Quinn, they got royally screwed over in the back nine.
  2. Improve consistency: The back nine of season one had little to no consistency with the first half. One minute Finn is admitting he’s not over Quinn, the next he is professing his love for Rachel.
  3. Minimal Finn/Rachel overall: I have no positive feelings for this “power couple” at all. I think they’re my new Lucas and Peyton. I feel like I should them because it’s inevitable that they’re going to end up together, but somehow I cannot stand them together. I have already braced myself for a season chock full of puke-worthy Finchel moments, but if all possible – keep them to a minimum, that’d be lovely.

Here ends my Glee season two wish-list. I’m expecting my hopes for the season will end in devastation but it’s nice to dream.