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In defense of Fuinn…

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The Glee fandom is officially the most petty group of viewers I have ever been a part of. Just read the comment section after Entertainment Weekly or E!Online posts spoilers or recaps, it’s completely nuts. And the main source of this division, like most fandoms, is shipper wars. Now, I would love to take the next 300 words or so to bitch about how much I despise all things Finchel and how I enjoy Glee significantly less when they are together. I would so love to do that, but I’m not. If you are a true fan of a show, you will not stop watching just because your OTP is no more and you should be able to show support for your favorites without bringing down fellow ships. And just for the record, I am not delusional enough to believe that Fuinn will be endgame. With what the show has told us, it’s going to be Finchel and (most likely) Quick. Does that make me particularly happy? Not necessarily. Will I throw a fit when Finchel inevitably reunites? Most likely. But for the time being, I am taking the high road and I am simply going to say why I continue to support the highly-hated relationship of Finn Hudson & Quinn Fabray.

1. The First Cut Is the Deepest (yes, I went there)

I think it’s important to keep in mind that while Finn may have been Rachel’s first love, Rachel was not his. Take a look at the F13 of season one. There is a reason why Finn was so supportive of Quinn when he thought she was carrying his baby. There is a reason why he brought her the baby blanket. There is a reason why he was so hurt when Babygate went down. I don’t deny that Finn also loved Rachel, but he loved Quinn first. And there is no reason why his love for Quinn is/was not just as pure and true as his love for Rachel.

2. They could be great if given the proper chance

This season’s superbowl episode, The Sue Sylvester Shakedown, proved that Fuinn has the potential to be a power couple not just at McKinley but the fandom in general. And while they have ability to bring the worst out in each other, they also inspire the other to be brave. Man, I’ve gone soft, that was so cliche- but so true. The pessimist in me is saying that after their current little stint is over, they will probably never be revisited. And that’s a complete shame because there is so much potential here…we just need the right writers to pull it off.

3. They never really got over each other…

…and they probably never will. If Fuinn gets anything positive out their renewed relationship in the end, it needs to be closure. And it needs to be told in a way where the relationship ends on their own terms and not because of a third party (Rachel, Jesse, Puck, Sam, etc). They have been a part of each other’s lives for too long to not be able to at least be good friends.

So ends my Fuinn sermon. Now I can go back to hating Finchel in peace…silently, of course.

Four HBIC with Big Hearts

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Every television show has them: the bitchy popular girl a la Regina George who rules the school and makes the lives of others a living hell. They get what they want when they want and typically have a picture-perfect life from the outside. You’re meant to hate them right along with everyone else, but in the end, you can’t help but love them. Because on the inside, the part of them very few ever see, these girls are vulnerable, insecure and just want to be accepted like everyone else.

4. Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl

at her bitchiest: Since we’re not friends anymore let me speak frankly, you’re not that smart. You lack focus and discipline. Charm is all well and good but in the real world knowledge is power. You wouldn’t make it past the first round of admissions at Yale no matter how hard you tried. Have fun in Providence.

at her best: I really need my friend right now. I’ve been acting like I’m okay, but I’m not. They say it’s a broken heart, but… I hurt in my whole body.

3. Mini McGuinness, Skins

at her bitchiest: I hope you die puking up your kidneys. Bitch.

at her best: I’ve been a complete bitch. To you all. Some more than others. And I’m really sorry. It’s just… well, you’re all so cool and alternative, and when I’m with you I feel like a bit like… Nicola Roberts. She’s the plain one in Girls Aloud.

2. Brooke Davis, One Tree Hill

at her bitchiest: Okay, guy in need of a clue. Here’s one. Women send signals. That was a brush off. Before you dip into your shallow pool of wit, let me paint us a picture and save us both the trouble. Here’s your evening. You are going to slink back off to your buddies, laugh this off, get wasted, go home, and make nice with yourself. But don’t be thinking of me, because even your fantasy of me, isn’t interested in you.

at her best: There’s a day when you realize that you’re not just a survivior, you’re a warrior. You’re tougher than anything life throws your way, and you are.

1. Quinn Fabray, Glee

at her bitchiest: Are you an idiot? How am I supposed to trust you to take care of our baby when you can’t even figure out how to sell a damn cupcake?

at her best: I can’t do this. This year is about me and don’t say that I am selfish because you have no idea how much I’ve been through. I’ve been down this path before, I know this feeling…like I need you. Duets don’t work for me and I don’t need you. What I need is to find a way to keep Santana off my heels, what I need is to find a way to torture Rachel and I need to start learning to ignore people.

Why Glee Needs to Get Some Female Writers STAT

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This is something that has been irking me for a while and I finally need to get it off my chest: Glee really needs to get some female writers, pronto. The female characters on the show are written horribly and come off as shallow, manipulative and unnecessarily bitchy. The glee club has turned into this mass-orgy of failed relationships, mostly due to the girls’ infidelity. (This, of course, excludes Mercedes who hasn’t had a love interest yet…oh right, she has an affinity for tots. The bigger girl who eats her feelings…wow, that’s not stereotypical or anything)

Let’s see here…

  • Quinn cheated on Finn with Puck; and she cheated on Sam with Finn
  • Rachel kissed Finn while he was dating Quinn and she made out with Puck while she was still with Finn
  • Tina presumably cheated on Artie with Mike
  • Santana and Brittany have been hooking up behind Artie & Sam’s back. It doesn’t matter if “the plumbing’s different,” cheating is still cheating in my book.

Finn’s cheated on Quinn and he encouraged her to cheat on Sam. But has he ever been called out for it? No. Double standard? I’m thinking hell yes.

But what I really want to address is the complete character assassinations of Quinn & Rachel. I’m not a Rachel or Finchel fan by any means, but the way Rachel has been written post-break up is the epitome of the crazy desperate ex-girlfriend. We have seen that Rachel is going to be a star and (in my opinion) that’s something she needs to accomplish solo. Finn does not share the same goals as her. The only person I can see Rachel working with in the long run is Jesse. Leave my Fuinn alone.

According to some spoilers, in a forthcoming episode Finn goes on a stakeout with Rachel because he thinks that Quinn is cheating on him with Sam. Really RIB? Really?! The Fuinn relationship has only ever been used as a prop for Finchel, making Quinn come off as this nasty, controlling, shallow person who only cares about her popularity. If last season was a testament to anything, we saw that Quinn was so much more than the blonde, bitchy head cheerleader. But this would require continuity, another important aspect of television that Glee not-so-gracefully ignores. Quinn became a much stronger, independent and caring person before she gave birth to Beth. Whatever growth she might have had last season has now been fully erased. She seemingly only dated Sam in order to get back at the top of the social pyramid and now she’s “using” Finn to be crowned prom queen. I use parentheses here because I want to believe that she’s not. But knowing RIB like I do, this will probably not be the case.

It is perfectly possible for couples to break up mutually or for any other reason really than cheating. Why do the guys come off smelling like roses when they’ve done an equal amount of damage to the relationship?

Dear RIB aka Glee Gods, this is a formal request for some estrogen in your writing room. I know us, female viewers, would appreciate it.

The Five Worst Glee Covers

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I like Glee, this is obvious. As someone who is not a huge fan of music staples such as The Beatles, Queen or Journey (I know, insert gasps of horror here), I often find their covers refreshing. Sometimes the music is amazing. Sometimes it sounds like a cat being beaten to death.

Entertainment Weekly recently posted a poll of who sang it better, the original artist or the Glee cast. I viewed the results out of curiosity and New Directions was the victor in nine of 15 songs featured. I think the secret to Glee’s success is that they take a song and make it their own i.e. Toxic, Teenage Dream or Don’t Stop Believin’. When their covers start to sound like less impressive replicas i.e. Need You Now & I’m a Slave 4 U, it becomes easier to compare the two.

So here are my least favorite Glee covers in comparison to their originals. I’m not taking into account the actual performance on the show or how crappy the song was in the first place:

Tik Tok (originally by Ke$ha): This was autotuned to hell and back. I wanted to puke like Santana and Brittany after listening to this torture. It sounds like Kidz Bop to the nth degree.

No Air (originally by Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown): Firstly, I loathe Finchel duets with a fiery passion. Secondly, I hate when singers pronounce “me” as “meh” when they sing. I’m looking at you, Cory Monteith. Thirdly, oh, Cory. You sound like a malfunctioning robot.

Bridge Over Troubled Water (originally by Simon & Garfunkel): Amber Riley easily has one of the better voices of the cast. And I love this song. But I was seriously let down. I was not a fan of the back-up gospel choir. I really like the soft rawness of the original and Amber’s voice was just way too powerful for my taste.

Bad Romance (originally by Lady Gaga): I think it would’ve been interesting to see this performed acoustic like Poker Face. Check out the Lissie cover. Quinn or Santana could have rocked the crap out of that one.

I Know What Boys Like (originally by the Waitresses): I don’t think much needs to be said here. Just listen.

My Ideal Television Family

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Parents: Eric & Tami Taylor, Friday Night Lights (Kyle Chandler & Connie Britton)

I can think of no other perfect parental unit than the Taylors of FNL. They occasionally get into arguments but always make up by the episode’s end. They compromise and make decisions with each other’s best interests at heart. The Southern accents would have to go, though.

Siblings: Nathan Young, Misfits (Robert Sheehan) & Quinn Fabray, Glee (Dianna Agron)

Nathan’s got an ASBO and you know, gets tricked into sleeping with 82-year-olds. Quinn can’t stop cheating on her boyfriends and there was that whole got-pregnant-with-boyfriend’s-best-friend thing. No matter what I do I would look great in comparison. To 99.9% of the world, Nathan is an ass. Case in point. But to the few he actually cares about, he’s fiercely loyal. And anyways, it would be killer to have a bro with an Irish accent. Quinn’s got a closet full of Anthropologie and Free People dresses/cardigans and any nice big sister would let me raid said closet every day, right? These two would be perfect older siblings. Quinn’s Queen Bee and thanks to a magical icestorm, Nathan’s immortal! Both of them would kick the crap out of anyone who did me wrong.

Best Friends: Cassie Ainsworth, Skins UK (Hannah Murray) & Seth Cohen, The OC (Adam Brody)

Cassie is a flighty, anorexic airhead who says, “wow” and “lovely” far too much. Pretty much a total trainwreck. She never really had a best friend on Skins and she constantly got screwed over on the show. But you’ve got to admit that would make for an interesting friend. I’m also hoping her accent would rub off on me. [I’m big on accents if you can’t tell] Seth’s a geek, plain and simple. But he’s geek chic. He dresses classy, loves Star Wars and can whip out movie quotes like it’s nobody’s business. I’m thinking we would be those typical television friends who eventually get together. I’d be totally on board with that.

FALL SEASON REVIEW: Glee

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Even though Glee has not yet been able to reach the same caliber of the first 13 episodes of season one, I have been very pleased with the way this season has turned out. Episode 2.04 “Duets” is my favorite so far, with “Never Been Kissed” at a close second.

I must be the only one who was happy to see Finchel split. I typically am not Finn’s biggest fan, but I personally wanted to kiss him after he rejected Rachel’s apology not only once…but twice. Score. Less Finchel on my screen makes for a happy Kate. The only person I can stand Rachel with is Jesse, bring back the Groff asap por favor.

Okay, favorite performances time. If I had to choose, I think Sam and Quinn’s “Lucky” is my favorite song and performance so far. Even though Quinn is my favorite Glee character, I admit that Dianna Agron has one of the weaker voices of the cast. That being said, I also really like her voice, it’s light and airy and a nice break from the typical wailing we get from Lea, Naya & Amber. Besides, Sam and Quinn are just so darn cute together. “Marry You” is also one of my favorites. I mean, they did the “Crank That” dance down the aisle…that’s gold. I love when the whole cast gets featured in songs and this time even Mike Chang got to sing.

What’s on my wishlist for the rest of the season? I would love a Finn/Quinn or Puck/Quinn duet. Or what would be even better is a Finn/Puck duet where they’re fighting over Quinn. This is the one triangle I actually like because I would be fine with either outcome. We all know Sam is just an interim fling that will eventually push her towards one of these two guys. I hope it’s Finn, but I’d be perfectly okay with it being Puck.

I love Darren Criss’ voice and I don’t mind his presence on the show, but I don’t feel any chemistry between him and Chris Colfer whatsoever. If Kurt is indeed going to get a boyfriend this season, it needs to be someone we already know has chemistry with him. I’m talking about Karofsky or Sam. Before the “Kurtofsky” haters jump down my throat, I’d like to make a few points. First, you can’t deny that the two have sparks. Second, the writers wouldn’t have outed Karofsky unless this storyline was going somewhere. Third, Ryan Murphy mentioned during the past summer that Kurt would be helping his future boyfriend come to grips with his sexuality. Is this ringing any bells at all? Of course, any Glee fan knows to take anything RM says with a grain of salt, but still…it all fits.

Brittany has also become so dumb that I am puzzled as to why she knows how to walk upright. She’s the stock “blonde, ditzy cheerleader,” but I think it has been taken too far. Last season, Brittany had some great one-liners and a few moments that reflected her airheadedness. This season, Brittany is a slut who was probed on a spaceship, still believes in Santa Claus and thinks Dr. Pepper is a dentist. I’d like to see her have a moment of semi-clarity and say something smart for once.

Lastly, and I sound like a broken record, I’d like to see the show revert back to the geniusness that was the front 13 of season one. We’re headed in the right direction and the writers have proved to us that they are capable of producing high-quality material. A little more consistency, a little less random guest stars and a more equal distribution of songs will not only please me but the majority of the Glee fandom. Until February 6, gleeks.

Favorite quotes & songs so far…