REVIEW: The Human Centipede

While browsing through Entertainment Weekly’s website today, I came across an article by Clark Collins titled “‘Human Centipede’: Is this the most disgusting horror film of all-time?” Obviously as a horror movie buff, I was intrigued. I should have read the article thoroughly, but I didn’t. Huge ass mistake. I just began downloading the movie. I felt pretty confident that this movie wouldn’t phase me. This is a girl who laughed during the Saw movies and didn’t even blink duringĀ Hostel. Half-an-hour in my mind was completely changed…this movie makes Haute Tension andĀ The Descent look like Disney movies.

I have officially seen the most horrifyingly disturbing movie. Ever.

I went back to Collins’ article and actually read it. If I would have simply skimmed the piece I wouldn’t have watched this monstrosity of a film. The trailer alone would have haunted my nightmares for weeks on end. This horrible movie is about a demented surgeon, Dr. Heiter, who has the insane fantasy of creating a human centipede by attaching people from mouth to anus to form a solitary digestive tract and then slicing a tendon at their knees to make them permanently bent. For all those non-medically minded people, this means that middle and end people are forced to swallow the other peoples’ crap. If your cookies are not all ready tossed, this is where you lose it.

Dieter Laser aka the psychopathic surgeon is without a doubt the scariest man in the history of the world. If that guy so much as looked at me I would probably have an immediate heart attack and keel over. If I ever see this man grace my screen again I will flip so much shit. His sick sadistic pleasure in his creation is absolutely awful. Seriously, who thinks of this stuff?! You have a sick mind, Tom Six. And I thought the creative team behind the Saw franchise was severely unhinged…

I have never been so repulsed by a movie before in my life. I think it’s safe to say I will be steering clear of horror movies for a while.

photo credit: Entertainment Weekly