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Why Glee Needs to Get Some Female Writers STAT

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This is something that has been irking me for a while and I finally need to get it off my chest: Glee really needs to get some female writers, pronto. The female characters on the show are written horribly and come off as shallow, manipulative and unnecessarily bitchy. The glee club has turned into this mass-orgy of failed relationships, mostly due to the girls’ infidelity. (This, of course, excludes Mercedes who hasn’t had a love interest yet…oh right, she has an affinity for tots. The bigger girl who eats her feelings…wow, that’s not stereotypical or anything)

Let’s see here…

  • Quinn cheated on Finn with Puck; and she cheated on Sam with Finn
  • Rachel kissed Finn while he was dating Quinn and she made out with Puck while she was still with Finn
  • Tina presumably cheated on Artie with Mike
  • Santana and Brittany have been hooking up behind Artie & Sam’s back. It doesn’t matter if “the plumbing’s different,” cheating is still cheating in my book.

Finn’s cheated on Quinn and he encouraged her to cheat on Sam. But has he ever been called out for it? No. Double standard? I’m thinking hell yes.

But what I really want to address is the complete character assassinations of Quinn & Rachel. I’m not a Rachel or Finchel fan by any means, but the way Rachel has been written post-break up is the epitome of the crazy desperate ex-girlfriend. We have seen that Rachel is going to be a star and (in my opinion) that’s something she needs to accomplish solo. Finn does not share the same goals as her. The only person I can see Rachel working with in the long run is Jesse. Leave my Fuinn alone.

According to some spoilers, in a forthcoming episode Finn goes on a stakeout with Rachel because he thinks that Quinn is cheating on him with Sam. Really RIB? Really?! The Fuinn relationship has only ever been used as a prop for Finchel, making Quinn come off as this nasty, controlling, shallow person who only cares about her popularity. If last season was a testament to anything, we saw that Quinn was so much more than the blonde, bitchy head cheerleader. But this would require continuity, another important aspect of television that Glee not-so-gracefully ignores. Quinn became a much stronger, independent and caring person before she gave birth to Beth. Whatever growth she might have had last season has now been fully erased. She seemingly only dated Sam in order to get back at the top of the social pyramid and now she’s “using” Finn to be crowned prom queen. I use parentheses here because I want to believe that she’s not. But knowing RIB like I do, this will probably not be the case.

It is perfectly possible for couples to break up mutually or for any other reason really than cheating. Why do the guys come off smelling like roses when they’ve done an equal amount of damage to the relationship?

Dear RIB aka Glee Gods, this is a formal request for some estrogen in your writing room. I know us, female viewers, would appreciate it.

FALL SEASON REVIEW: Glee

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Even though Glee has not yet been able to reach the same caliber of the first 13 episodes of season one, I have been very pleased with the way this season has turned out. Episode 2.04 “Duets” is my favorite so far, with “Never Been Kissed” at a close second.

I must be the only one who was happy to see Finchel split. I typically am not Finn’s biggest fan, but I personally wanted to kiss him after he rejected Rachel’s apology not only once…but twice. Score. Less Finchel on my screen makes for a happy Kate. The only person I can stand Rachel with is Jesse, bring back the Groff asap por favor.

Okay, favorite performances time. If I had to choose, I think Sam and Quinn’s “Lucky” is my favorite song and performance so far. Even though Quinn is my favorite Glee character, I admit that Dianna Agron has one of the weaker voices of the cast. That being said, I also really like her voice, it’s light and airy and a nice break from the typical wailing we get from Lea, Naya & Amber. Besides, Sam and Quinn are just so darn cute together. “Marry You” is also one of my favorites. I mean, they did the “Crank That” dance down the aisle…that’s gold. I love when the whole cast gets featured in songs and this time even Mike Chang got to sing.

What’s on my wishlist for the rest of the season? I would love a Finn/Quinn or Puck/Quinn duet. Or what would be even better is a Finn/Puck duet where they’re fighting over Quinn. This is the one triangle I actually like because I would be fine with either outcome. We all know Sam is just an interim fling that will eventually push her towards one of these two guys. I hope it’s Finn, but I’d be perfectly okay with it being Puck.

I love Darren Criss’ voice and I don’t mind his presence on the show, but I don’t feel any chemistry between him and Chris Colfer whatsoever. If Kurt is indeed going to get a boyfriend this season, it needs to be someone we already know has chemistry with him. I’m talking about Karofsky or Sam. Before the “Kurtofsky” haters jump down my throat, I’d like to make a few points. First, you can’t deny that the two have sparks. Second, the writers wouldn’t have outed Karofsky unless this storyline was going somewhere. Third, Ryan Murphy mentioned during the past summer that Kurt would be helping his future boyfriend come to grips with his sexuality. Is this ringing any bells at all? Of course, any Glee fan knows to take anything RM says with a grain of salt, but still…it all fits.

Brittany has also become so dumb that I am puzzled as to why she knows how to walk upright. She’s the stock “blonde, ditzy cheerleader,” but I think it has been taken too far. Last season, Brittany had some great one-liners and a few moments that reflected her airheadedness. This season, Brittany is a slut who was probed on a spaceship, still believes in Santa Claus and thinks Dr. Pepper is a dentist. I’d like to see her have a moment of semi-clarity and say something smart for once.

Lastly, and I sound like a broken record, I’d like to see the show revert back to the geniusness that was the front 13 of season one. We’re headed in the right direction and the writers have proved to us that they are capable of producing high-quality material. A little more consistency, a little less random guest stars and a more equal distribution of songs will not only please me but the majority of the Glee fandom. Until February 6, gleeks.

Favorite quotes & songs so far…

RECAP: Glee, Never Been Kissed

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I really should be writing a paper that’s due in t-minus 12 hours, but I don’t care. Glee, you my friend, are on a roll. Three decent episodes in a row? What kind of game are you playing? I seriously haven’t yelled at the television that much since last year’s season premire of Lost. It was even enough for my roommate to shout from her room, “And tonight’s Glee commentary is brought to you by Kate!”

First, I’m loving this whole equal-screentime-for-the-entire-cast thing that’s been going on recently. Every character had at least one line and had their moment to shine during the mash-up numbers. The only thing that would have made this episode better is a reaction from Puck about Sam & Quinn. I kept waiting for an epic bro-throwdown and was sadly letdown. Puck needs to lose the gages, but he made an X-Men reference tonight, so he’s back in my good books. Although, he was more of an ass-hole than usual tonight and is back to his playa ways. But thank God the nipple ring is finally gone.

So, the episode’s title, “Never Been Kissed” applied to the two characters of Kurt and Beiste. Technically Kurt’s been kissed “but not one that mattered” and Beiste is the female version of the 40-year-old virgin. These two moments were when I yelled a constant stream of four lettered words. Looking back, it is clear as day that Karofsky is so far in the closet he’s approaching Narnia.  But still, I was thrown for a complete loop when he planted a wet one on Kurt and then went back for seconds. Mind, meet brain explosion. That doesn’t even compare to the Beiste / Will kiss, however. I swear my television burst into flames. We didn’t need to see that…really. Yes, she’s a 40-year-old who is still a member of the Virgin Lip Club, that sucks. But in the end all she got was a pity kiss from a guy who was probably thinking about the not-so-anymore-mysophobic guidance counselor.

Onto Kurt and Blaine. While I find Kurt already having a framed picture of Blaine in his locker is mildly creepy and I laughed hysterically during their slow-mo run down the hallway, I loved the whole “Teenage Dream” sequence. I’m late to the “Teenage Dream” party, I don’t understand how I had never heard that song before. But anyways, I’m a fan of it now. I had previewed the scene when it leaked last week week and I’ve been fangirling for the past few days. I’m thinking that since Ryan Murphy dropped that he wants Kurt and his boyfriend to be Prom King and King that Karofsky will end up opening the closet door soon and become Kurt’s first BF. Don’t know how I feel about this yet, there’s a part of me still on the Kurt/Sam train…TBD. Oh and this Darren Criss fellow? I approve.

Another plus of the episode, hardly any Finchel disgustingness and lots of Sam/Quinn & Mike/Tina. Sue also made her comedic moment for the night with her confetti cannons and her one-on-one chat with Quinn. What I like about watching Glee is that I don’t have an OTP yet, unless there is a bunch of Finchel, I am usually not disappointed on the relationship front.

There is a paper on Modern Militant Islamic Ideology calling my name, so I should probably peace out. But this week’s worth of television is turning out to be just as quality as last week’s and that makes for one happy television fanatic.

RECAP: Glee, The Rocky Horror Glee Show

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And an ab-ulous night it was.

I have three confessions to make: One, I have no idea what the Rocky Horror Show is about. Two, I never liked/watched Full House, I had no idea who “Uncle Jesse” was. Three, I loved the Rocky Horror Glee Show…and I don’t know why. Before the RHPS fanatics come at me with pitchforks and torches, let me reiterate: I don’t know what the RHPS is supposed to look or sound like. I only have vague memories of my hometown theatre putting on the production, but this was circa 2001.

Was the plot advanced in any way? No. Character development? Nah. Did the episode really serve a purpose? Not really. Bottom line: I was entertained and it had the right amount of snark. Feel free to disagree, I am full of unpopular opinions.

Overlooking John Stamos’ horrible lip-syncing, “What Happened to Saturday Night?” was pretty damn near perfect. I have to disagree with the vast majority of the reviewers on iTunes, I personally liked his “John Travolta-esque voice.” Oh and Will, please stop moping. Your pity party ended last year.

I know that the fact that a girl was going to be playing Frank-n-furter was one of the main gripes RHPS fans had a problem with. I thought Mercedes sounded fine in the song. Obviously she’s going to sound different than Tim Curry so there’s really no sense in comparing the two. Also, there’s no use in blaming the writers/producers for this, John Stamos was originally supposed to play Frank and the network shot him down. Got a problem? Drop FOX a line. Do you really think that Ryan Murphy would have planned all along for a female Frank?

I think my favorite song had to be “Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch-a Touch Me.” Jayma Mays sounded like a chipmunk that inhaled helium, but it strangely worked. Watching the scene was uncomfortable at times; Will was obviously about to spontaneously combust at any moment. I also thought the “Time Warp” was very good. Cory Monteith has his moments when he actually sounds like he can sing and this was one of those times. I YouTubed the movie scene and I personally prefer Dianna Agron’s version to the scratchy throat-sing/talk of the movie Magenta. But I’m also a fan of Dianna’s so I might be a little biased.

It was also nice to see the guys having body image problems for once and not the girls. Best line of the night:

Sam: Stop knocking yourself out, just be you and the sexy will flow through.

Finn: Yeah you’re right, I don’t need to hide behind my muscles like you do.

Sam: Awesome, I think. Are you insulting me? Where are you going?

Finn: To show everyone how hot and sexy I am.

I think we all knew that Cory doesn’t have the best bod out of all the Glee guys. Don’t believe me? Get out your season one dvds and watch closely during “My Life Would Suck Without You.” Well, the camera does add ten pounds right? Anywho, it looks like he did tone up for this episode. I guess he can stop showering with a shirt on now.

So happy to see the return of Sue’s Corner. This needs to become a weekly thing again. Puck, oh where art thou? Glad to see you’ll be returning to McKinley in two weeks. I can deal with a return of the Mohawk, but the gages have got to go. And I fully expect you to get in a fight with Sam over Quinn. Don’t let me down. All in all, I enjoyed the RHPS tribute, even if it was an extremely watered-down version of the original.

I am going to leave you with the rest of the great quotes in the episode and there were many. Nice work, writers.

Santana: Earlier today Artie asked  if he could make a gigantic omelet when I’m done with the giant ostrich eggs I’m smuggling in my bra.

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Sam: There ain’t no carpool lane to sexy.

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Sam: (about his Rocky costume) Is there a way I could wear some gold board shorts or something? These are really short I’m afraid I’m going to show off some nuttage.

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Sue: Take your sick, perverted sex games out of this school.

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Sam: I got asked to be “June” in the “Men of McKinley High” calendar.

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Becky: Get me some chocolate, or I will cut you.