2011-2012 Television Season: Favorite New Shows

HONORABLE MENTION: American Horror Story

The opening credits should get an award for being the creepiest credits ever (I mean, look at this). Add in a rubber body suit, depressed homicidal teens, Piggy Man and a half-dismembered limb-half-animal-parts baby, and apparently you’ve got yourself a winner.
SYNOPSIS IN A SENTENCE: An already dysfunctional family moves into a haunted house where some über creepy shit went down.
BEST EPISODE: Halloween.
NOTABLE QUOTE: “I questioned my sanity when I first found out. But this house, this house will make you a believer.” —Constance

5. Revenge
Soap-y fun in a beautiful locale where queen bitches and scheming Hamptonites are everywhere. What’s not to like? The Graysons might rival for the Scotts for The Family In Most Need of Group Therapy award.
SYNOPSIS IN A SENTENCE: A girl heads out on a mission to seek revenge on those responsible for the wrongful imprisonment of her father.
BEST EPISODE: Chaos.
NOTABLE QUOTE: “I will never forget. I will never forgive.” —Emily

4. Once Upon a Time
You can tell a show comes from the creators of LOST when the story circles around the main character, Emma, and her relationship with her biological son who was adopted by the mayor who is actually his biological grandmother while she’s unknowingly living with her mother and is the would-be savior of the fantastical world. 
SYNOPSIS IN A SENTENCE:
The Evil Queen puts a curse on all fairytale characters condemning them to slum it out in the “real world.”
BEST EPISODE: Hat Trick.
NOTABLE QUOTE: “You know what the issue is with this world, everyone wants a magical solution for their problems and everyone refuses to believe in magic.” —Jefferson/Mad Hatter

3. Hart of Dixie
This show is adorable. Plain and simple. It’s a CW show so everyone is beautiful and watching beautiful people deal with unnecessary drama is the best way to spend an evening. And if you doubt Rachel Bilson’s ability to pull off a very Cristina Yang-like doctor, here’s my (and her) response.
SYNOPSIS IN A SENTENCE: Big shot big city doctor Summer Roberts…erm Zoe Hart moves to Alabama after being bequeathed a family practice by a mysterious man who turns out to be her father.
BEST EPISODE: In Havoc and In Heat (just ditch the jorts, Wade)
NOTABLE QUOTE: “Well, my night had quickly gone downhill, but in times like this, I’ve found that one thing really helps me through — Wine.” —Zoe

2. New Girl
I feel like I should preface this by saying I can’t stand Zooey Deschanel and I fully expected to hate this. And even though New Girl hasn’t helped me dislike her less (I’d still watch without its eponymous “new girl”), I will gladly tolerate Ms. Deschanel for 30 minutes to watch this show.
SYNOPSIS IN A SENTENCE: Shenanigans ensue when eccentric Jess moves in with three equally quirky bachelors after catching her ugly hippie boyfriend cheating.
BEST EPISODE: The Landlord.
NOTABLE QUOTE:
Schmidt: Who let the dirty slut out of the slut house?
Jess [in a British accent]: Probably the slut butler, right?

1. Homeland
If you haven’t had the extreme pleasure of viewing this gem from Showtime, do yourself a favor and find a way. Like I said in my initial review, I hate politics and political shows with a passion, but this show had me hooked. You will get chills at least twice an episode. The freakiest factor? It all seems perfectly plausible. This show better walk away with an Emmy and two for Claire Danes and Damian Lewis.
SYNOPSIS IN A SENTENCE: POW returns to the US of A after being held captive for eight years and a bipolar CIA agent thinks he’s working for Al-Qaeda.
BEST EPISODE: Marine One, although The Weekend is a very close second.
NOTABLE QUOTE:  “Somewhere down there, there’s a tiny sliver of green just taking its time. This is how everything works. You wait. You lay low. And then you come to life.” —Carrie

Five Artfully Awesome Opening Credits

As I continued my summer’s journey of television mania, (this week: Eureka) it just reinforced my love for clever and artsy main title sequences. I truly miss belting out “CALIFORNIAAAAA” every week with Phantom Planet. I understand that by just using titlecards it can save a precious minute of airtime, but I overly enjoy having a catchy theme to sing or hum along with before all of the laughter and drama starts.

Now, I have many favorite main title sequences, they range from themes you have to jam out with to the boldly graphic. But these are my favorite main title sequences, visual aesthetics and general design being the main factor. Like always, click through the banners for video.

Nip / Tuck, “A Perfect Lie”- The Engine Room

Yes, it’s creepy and the scissor noise in the background is mildly disturbing, but I’ve always appreciated how well the song fits the series. It’s pretty minimal but catches the nature of Nip / Tuck in 45ish seconds. For some reason, my favorite part of the credits is the finger twitch at :09, although I also enjoy watching the lips blow up like collagen balloons at the end.

Six Feet Under, Original Theme

I’ve come to the conclusion that cable shows just automatically have better opening credits. And I think it’s time for the primetime networks to step it up. Six Feet Under’s opening sequence automatically sets up the premise of the show and its tune is delightfully catchy for a song about a funeral home family.

Dexter, Original Theme

Okay. Yeah this one bugged me at first. It’s hella long and the opening shot of the mosquito sinking into Dexter’s arm isn’t particularly my favorite visual. But after a while it definitely grows on you. And the last shot of Dexter’s innocent smile after all these violent shots of a typical morning routine made me laugh out loud the first time I saw it.

Skins, Original Theme

The series 1 Skins opening is my personal favorite. You can’t help but feel ridiculously giddy whenever it plays. The theme is upbeat and just puts an automatic smile on your face. I also appreciate that each season and generation gets a new mix…even though I feel like they’ve all paled in comparison to the original.

Chuck, “Short Skirt”-Cake

You gotta love Cake. And the opening sequence was surprisingly creative and artsy, no complaints here.

REVIEW: Nip / Tuck

My ultimate guilty pleasure, Nip / Tuck, returned to FX for its sixth season yesterday, and like always, the shock factor level was through the roof. Explicit surgery? Check. Obscene language? Double check. Controversial content? Well, how else would you categorize a surgery that involves a rejuvenation of certain um…womanly parts? The season opens with plastic surgeons Sean McNamara and Christian Troy in a bind for money as the recession hits the plastic surgery industry. Used to living in fine luxury, McNamara/Troy begin the search for any new kind of procedure that could help their business. Enter Mario Lopez aka Dr. Mike Hamoui. Dr. Hamoui has made his billions by using his washboard abs to reel in the female patients by the dozen, and it is he who brings the idea of a down-there uplift to McNamara/Troy.

I am usually ready for any shots that Nip/Tuck throws my way, because after 6 years, I’ve accepted the fact that truly anything is possible on this show. But for the first time in quite a while, I was really disturbed by a plotline. Matt, Dr. Troy’s biological son (and McNamara’s ” adopted” son…I finger quote adopted because that’s not really the right word, but it’s a long story) comes to the doctors announcing that he has thrown away a large amount of his money to take mime lessons and that he is going to take a vow of silence. Now, I hate clowns, and this is pretty darn close. While dressed in his mime gear, Matt goes to get coffee and after he finds out that he doesn’t have enough money, pulls a gun on the barista. That sounds like the worst and most embarrassing way to die. Gun-shot by a mime.

I’d just like to take this moment to say, that yes, I am ashamed to say how much I like this show. However, there’s enough drama to keep me happy, it stops right before it’s too explicit for me to whip out an “awkward turtle”, and as someone who can watch surgical shows without seeing my dinner in reverse, the surgeries are creative and graphic enough to make me impressed. So, feel free to judge me, but don’t write it off before you watch it, you may be surprised.

Kate

(photo courtesy of the fx network)