Only in Tree Hill…

In honor of the final episodes of one of the most drama filled teen dramas, One Tree Hill, this will be one of the many OTH-themed posts dedicated to saying goodbye. And I’m kicking it off with things that only find in the ever zany town of Tree Hill, North Carolina:

Only in Tree Hill (and NOT Lima, Ohio) will a marriage between two sixteen year olds not only work, but yield two children and still come out hella strong.

Only in Tree Hill is it completely plausible that in a small core group of five friends, one person became the writer of two national bestsellers, one played for the NBA, one started their own successful record label…from scratch, one is a recognized musician and has toured the country twice, and one started their own couture fashion line that became a national conglomerate.

Only in Tree Hill will parents disappear while their kids are still in high school to:

  1. Travel RV style across America
  2. Transfer for a job in California and leave their daughter in the very capable hands of a family/friend who is there 50 percent of the time
  3. Flee town out of embarrassment
  4. Attend therapy/rehab

Only in Tree Hill will you find the highest car crash per person ratio than any city in the United States.

Only in Tree Hill, will a medic trip and fall, causing the transplant heart he was carrying to somehow fly out of the icebox and straight into the waiting mouth of a seeing-eye-dog.

Only in Tree Hill does Peyton Sawyer end up with Lucas Scott over Brooke Davis.

Only in Tree Hill will big name artists like Jimmy Eat World and Angels and Airwaves make the time to perform at a summer kick-off party or high school prom. And Sheryl Crow will agree to play one song per cup of coffee at a local café.

Only in Tree Hill sappy speeches in the rain fix all relationship problems.

Only in Tree Hill will you find a Derek (a psycho fake brother), Carrie (a psycho kidnapping nanny and would-be adulterer), Katie (a psycho jealous identity thief) and Xavier (a psycho with an anger management problem who has also made, “Have a nice night” the creepiest catchphrase in television). All four of which targeted the same group of friends.

Only in Tree Hill will you find Dan Scott, aka Mr. Indestructible. Dan Scott was clearly hit by the electrical storm a la Misfits and became immortal like Nathan Young. That dude should have died at least twice by now and he’s still alive and kickin’ and kickin’ other peoples’ asses no less.

Only in Tree Hill, will a Mouth McFadden get inordinate amounts of booty.

Big, Blonde, Beautiful…and Bitchy

In every television show, there is always that certain character you hate. For me, there are usually a handful. I am never simply indifferent about a character, I’m either a fan or their nemesis. And looking back on some of my least favorite characters, I’ve noticed a pattern with the females. They are almost always the female lead, blonde and curly haired and are known for being a HBIC. I can’t really explain my hatred, because I happen to love other fair-haired characters like Quinn Fabray & Caroline Forbes, who could also be considered a HBIC. But there is something about these 5 that have the power to make me want to shut off the tv. How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways…

Peyton Sawyer / Hilarie Burton, ONE TREE HILL

I have never loathed a character as much as P. Sawyer. I found her whiny woe-as-me demeanor to be exceedingly boring and annoying. My personal war against Peyton started in season 1 when she started hooking up with Lucas behind her BFF’s back. And yes, I am extremely anti-Leyton, but even after I accepted Brucas was dunzo I always thought Lucas deserved more than Peyton.

Jen Lindley / Michelle Williams, DAWSON’S CREEK

I never seem to be a fan of the character who chooses to be a rebel simply because they want to be known as a rebel. And that’s Jen. In addition, she attempted to break up my OTP in season 2, snatched Dawson’s virginity and caused drama for the sake of causing drama. Jen only got back into my good books in the series finale…and then she died.

Naomi Clark / AnnaLynne McCord, 90210

Naomi is Beverly Hills’ token spoiled bitch and I have never been a fan of hers. And while she got a bit more bearable this past season (I actually liked her with Max), all of that was ruined when she revealed she was preggers in the last seconds of the finale. And okay, that wasn’t necessarily her character’s fault but it definitely won’t help me like her more.

Marissa Cooper / Mischa Barton, THE O.C.

Because Marissa & Ryan were a power couple of the show, I also disliked Ryan by association. It wasn’t until Marissa kicked the bucket (and made me ecstatic) that I realized I actually liked Ryan. And his new girlfriend, Taylor, as annoying as she might have been was 10 times better than Marissa. Like the others, drama followed her around like a stormy rain-cloud and she bucked the system just to say she did. Her death was one of my O.C. moments.

Britta Perry / Gillian Jacobs, COMMUNITY

Britta is the newest addition to my list of hated characters. When she starts another one of her political debates I groan in sync with the rest of the study group. It doesn’t help that she constantly has a sour puss expression on her face and I can’t stand Jeff with Britta, but I would loathe her whether or not I was pro-Jeff & Annie.

REVIEW: 2010-2011 Television Season

I have always watched a crap-ton of tv, but this year seemed particularly heavy. I had at least two shows per day Monday thru Thursday and I discovered the brilliance of British television. It’s been a busy television season and on the whole, I’m satisfied with the finales we got.

Shows That Premiered This  Season…

After watching the pilot episode, I stuck with only four shows this year: Being Human, Shameless, Happy Endings and The Walking Dead. I always bitch about how much I hate American remakes of British tv shows…and yet two of them made the list. However, unlike Skins, these remakes are actually good. People have been listing Happy Endings on their comedy Emmy wishlists, and while I think that is a wee bit of a stretch, this show surprised me. Any sitcom revolving around a group of friends is immediately likened to, well, Friends. I found the overall premise of Happy Endings to be relatively weak, but the show definitely improved over the course of its short season.

FAVORITE NEW SHOW: Being Human, hands down. The show just gives such a fresh spin on the whole vamp-werewolf dynamic and it totally holds its own against the U.K. counterpart. Although, it’s official, I can’t stand the Josh/George character aka the werewolf in either version.

Discovered shows already on air…

This year, I discovered so many wonderful programs that are already on air. I love this, because then I have oodles of episodes to watch without an annoying hiatus. Thanks to blogs and mostly Tumblr, I had heard only high praises for the British shows, Misfits and Skins. Misfits is by far one of the funniest shows I’ve ever seen and I kind of have a crush on Robert Sheehan. I also randomly stumbled upon The Big Bang Theory bloopers on YouTube and even those made me crack up, which gave me the incentive to blindly purchase the dvds. And it’s amazing. I am making it my mission to attend a taping before I leave LA.

While I am still making my way through Parks and Recreation & 30 Rock, I have to say, I love NBC’s Thursday night comedy line-up. I know I am so late to The Office party, it’s not even funny. Within a course of 4 days, I watched every single episode on Hulu. What can I say? It was a boring finals week. And unlike other fans, I don’t think the show has necessarily lost its mojo, I for one, loved season 6. I caught the last few episodes of season 7 on air and while I do agree that it will be a different program, I think the show has potential to be great without Michael Scott / Steve Carell. One of my roomies always sang the praises of Chuck, so I gave that a try, too. It’s a great dramedy and I kind of have a crush on Zachary Levi, too.

FAVORITE NEW SHOW ALREADY ON AIR: This is such a tough decision because I love each and every one of the programs shown above. But it has to be Community. If Glee gets an Emmy nod and Community doesn’t, there’s officially no justice in the world. Even Community‘s “weaker” episodes are better than most shows’ best. And it’s two-parter paintball season finale was damn near flawless. Community‘s comedic style is exactly my cup of tea and I am officially the biggest Jeff & Annie fan ever. I would normally find a relationship between a 20-year-old girl and a guy who is nearly 40 to be disgusting, but they are absolutely adorbs. And to think I only discovered this gem because it was on sale at Target…I have so much love for Target.

Returning shows…

FAVORITE RETURNING SHOW / BEST OVERALL SEASON: This was really not a tough call, as a lot of these shows had lackluster seasons, The Vampire Diaries. Now, I am not one of those crazy TVD fans who stakes out polls on Entertainment Weekly until TVD reigns supreme, but this season was very strong overall. I am such a fan of Tyler & Caroline and I cannot wait to see where the writers take this storyline. We finally saw some progression in the Stefan / Elena / Damon triangle and Jeremy finally got some lovin’ and a relationship I approve of. No sophomore slump here.

ONE TREE HILL: Much like Glee becoming the Kurt Show at times, One Tree Hill morphed into the Brooke & Julian Show. And I love Brooke and Julian, but it was overkill with the babies. If the network would have let Mark Schwahn & crew do the abortion storyline intended for Brooke in season 4, it would have added another dimension to the fact that she is unable to have children. It just seemed too easy to have Brooke get magically pregnant, with twins no less. I love me some Stephen Colletti, but I think the fact that he is now a series regular says enough. We all know that One Tree Hill should have ended after season 6, if not season 4. Although OTH never racked up high numbers, as a long-time fan, it’s horrible to see how its fallen not only in ratings but in quality.

LIGHTS OUT: I won’t divulge too much because it hasn’t aired on NBC yet, but I thoroughly enjoyed the finale. It was the perfect end to a nearly-perfect show. Can we get some Emmy love, pwease?

I generally enjoyed 90210‘s season 3. I think the first half of the season why stronger, but it overall was exponentially better than Gossip Girl. The only thing I really liked about Glee season 2 was the return of Fuinn and we all know how that ended. As for Grey’s, hopefully this season will be its last and it can go out on a high note. It’s already losing its magic, I don’t buy any article that claims Grey’s is having a comeback. Just limit the Calzona, give Alex a substantial love interest, bring back Addison and reunite Mark & Lexie and you’ll be back on track.

So what’s going to be my summer obsession? Well, So You Think You Can Dance, obvi, but I also started watching Six Feet Under today and I’m loving it so far. I am also planning to spend this summer checking out Fringe, Parenthood, Modern Family and The Good Wife.  All I can say is, thank God for Netflix.

Five Times When OTH Jumped the Shark

As a once avid fan of One Tree Hill, it pains me to say that the show has truly overstayed its welcome. If I had it my way, the show would have ended at season four and went out on a high note. Granted, seasons five and six weren’t necessarily god-awful, but I think OTH fans can agree that the show lost much of its spark. One Tree Hill has garnered some of the lowest ratings of all major networks and has been used as a punch line for its immortality. There are obviously more, but here are my top five times when OTH jumped the shark…

5. 1940s flashback (6.11 We Three (My Echo, My Shadow and Me)

This episode had no point, unless you count letting CMM write an episode. And it was bad. Really bad. The only way the episode could have been salvaged was to let Peyton actually die at the end. But of course, it was only just a dream. Rats.

4. Kevin Federline guest stars (season 5)

Why, Mark Schwahn, why?! There are countless other talented, bad ass rock stars who could have made a guest appearance. Britney’s hard core ex, K Fed, should not be included amongst them.

3. Deb & Skills / Dan & Rachel (season 5-6)

The older Scotts got some action with their sons’ classmates, Skills & Rachel. Deb & Skills were somewhat tolerable, but Dan & Rachel were disgusting. Sure, it made for some good laughs, but seeing Dan kissing Rachel is something I want to permanently erase from my memory.

2. Nanny Carrie & Psycho Katie (seasons 5-7)

Exactly how many demented psychopaths live in Tree Hill?! Apparently each canon couple on OTH needs a psycho-subplot: Peyton & Lucas had Psycho Derek; Nathan & Haley had Nanny Carrie; Brooke & Julian had the guy who kidnapped Sam and robbed Brooke; Clay & Quinn had Psycho Katie. I was fine with the Psycho Derek story line, more because it freaked me out more than anything. Nanny Carrie got a little ridiculous but the addition of Katie is just too much.

1. Dog Eats Dan’s New Heart (6.18 Searching for a Former Clarity)

Dan is smugly chilling in the hospital waiting room for his heart transplant. The guy with the heart trips over the dog’s leash and the ticker goes flying. And then the whole room watches in horror as the dog slurps down the core of the human body. The first time I saw this I laughed. Then I felt horrible. Then I felt disgusted. Finally I settled on feeling immense pity for the writers who put together that crap. If this isn’t a ‘jump the shark’ moment, I don’t know what is.

FALL TV WISHLIST: One Tree Hill

One Tree Hill : Season 8, September 14 @ 7 – The CW


There are so many things I would like to see happen in One Tree Hill’s eighth season.  However, I have learned over the years that Mark Schwahn and Co. and I do not see eye to eye when it comes to this series. I have a feeling that OTH will continue its downward slide to Television That Sucks. It really pains me to see how bad this show has become.  If I had my way, the show would have ended at the end of season four. I haven’t really been “wowed” by an episode of OTH since then.

I sincerely hope this is the final season of OTH and this is coming from a long-time fan of the series. Unless the writers can magically get Chad Michael Murray and Hilarie Burton to return, the show needs to cut its losses and call it quits. I can already imagine a lackluster series finale and it’s a shame. The writers have proved to us that they are better than this.

Since I have such low expectations for this season, I really don’t have a lot of requests:

  • The show cannot afford to lose any more of the original cast members. If Haley leaves, the show just needs to end there. Without Haley, we lose the heart of the show. Without Haley, we have no Naley.
  • Get rid of the excess characters, which include the following: Clay, Quinn, Grubbs, British Chick, Psycho Katie, Mouth/Skill’s girlfriend and Alex. I have learned to deal with Mouth and Skills as permanent cast members, but that’s as much as I can handle. I would rather see the main characters of Nathan, Haley and Brooke get good storylines than see the whole cast get run-of-the-mill material.
  • Earth to Mark Schwahn: For four wonderful seasons you created a solid drama series that not only had quality acting and writing but heart. So few shows today have heart and you lost it.

So long, One Tree Hill, it was nice knowing you. But if things don’t drastically improve, if might be time for us to make our separate ways.

RECAPS: Season Finales

This past week of television season finales was fully loaded with break ups, make ups, hook ups, surprising and not-so-surprising pregnancies…and guns. A multitude of guns. Out of the four season finales I watched this week (One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl, 90210 and Grey’s Anatomy), a stunning total of eight main characters were fatally shot. Of course in Grey’s Anatomy there was a sheer number of the dead or injured by the end, but honestly there were only five we truly cared about. And okay, 90210 did not literally have fire arms on the show, but I think Matt Lanter’s guns are licensed to kill.

I’m going to start with One Tree Hill. On the whole, I found this episode to be extremely lack-luster. Brooke and Julian are engaged, great for Brooke (look at that honker of a ring), but I will always remain a loyal Brucas believer. Haley’s pregnant (nice work, Nate). The amount of screen time devoted to characters I could give a rat’s ass about is truly testing my patience. I don’t care about stubbly Grubbs trying to get into the British lady’s pants again, which I can only imagine would happen if he elected to wear a paper bag over his head. I loved Chase when he had a purpose aka Brooke’s boyfriend in season four, but now he’s a waste of screen time. In short, the following characters need to be given the axe for the final season of One Tree Hill: Grubbs, Miranda the Brit, Chase (unless he gets a more interesting and important story line), Mia, Alex, Alexander, Josh, and most importantly, Quinn and Clay. In the final minutes of the finale, PsychoKatie makes a comeback and shoots both Quinn and Clay. I have to admit, I flipped a lot of serious shit at that moment. Totally did not see that coming. Okay writers, you have a golden opportunity here. By leaving the fate of these two characters hanging in the balance, it would be too easy to kill them both off and make season eight entirely focused on the main characters we actually like. And on the same note, enough with all of the deranged and psychotic characters. I think PsychoDerek, PsychoNannyCarrie, and PsychoKatie have filled the quotient of crazies allowed to roam free in Tree Hill. I may sound like a broken record, but seeing a OTH finale like this just reminds me of how awesome this show used to be. Remember the season two finale with the dealership fire? Now, THAT’S a finale.

On to Gossip Girl…Damn. You. Jenny. Humphrey. Jenny and I definitely to do not get along, she messes with all the relationships I love on the show. Chuck and Blair almost had a happy reunion, but nooooo… Jenny HAD to be “lonely” and do the nasty with the one person she shouldn’t, Eric HAD to find out why Jenny is drowning in tears and running eye liner/mascara, Dan HAD to get all macho and deliver a complimentary knuckle-sandwich to Chuck, and of course this all HAD to happen at the moment when Chuck was presumably going to propose to Blair. FML. Then poor, heartbroken Chuck gets shot for protecting Blair’s engagement ring just a few minutes later. Chuck Bass is the only character that needs to be alive come fall. I don’t think the writers would go there, but still, my smooth-talking man-whore better be healthy as a horse in the fall.

I’m going to gloss over 90210 and  skip Glee/Lost since those weren’t season finales. Teddy and Ivy as regulars next season? Gag me. Silver and Teddy / Dixon and Ivy reuniting? Gag me. Teddy and Ivy need to crawl back into the holes they came out of and let Silver and Dixon realize they belong together. Also, the members of the 90210 gang are supposed to be juniors? Right and Lea Michele is supposed to be playing a character born in 1994.

Okay, Grey’s Anatomy. Holy hell. I have been on the brink of writing this show off my weekly schedule of television watching ever since the introduction of ugly ginger Owen, the merger with Mercy West and the break up of Mark and Lexie. But Thursday’s finale was insane. Meredith and Derek have never been a favorite couple of mine, but watching Meredith’s silent scream when Derek was shot (by the way, nice work Sarah Drew, you got McDreamy shot) and her plea to the gunman to kill her instead was unbelievably heart wrenching. Not to be insensitive, but I could care less whether anyone shot during Grey‘s finale lives or dies. McDreamy is obviously safe, no McDreamy = no program. Alex is getting in the way of my Mark and Lexie and I’ve hated Owen from the beginning. The deaths of Reed and Charles had no impact on me, other than a sudden jump when the gun fired (I hate loud noises). I just wish Gary Clark had taken down Arizona and April while he was at it. God, I sound like such a horrible person. Don’t get me wrong, I thought the finale was amazingly written, amazingly acted, and amazing in general. I was definitely shaken up by the end.

Hopefully the next batch of season finales will be tad bit lighter. I’m guessing Lost isn’t going to give that to me (SERIES FINALE SUNDAY! *sob*) but I’m assuming the regional show choir competition in Glee will not include a GSW, but who knows…I’m not one to question Puck’s bad-ass guns.

screencap from IMDB.