Three Reasons Why Television Shows Fail

As I sit here watching last week’s exceedingly uninteresting new episode of One Tree Hill on Hulu, I can’t help but feel an extreme sense of loss. This program used to be so freaking good. Circa seasons 2-4, One Tree Hill had some of the most powerful and creative story arcs on television. Now what has this program come to? They’re bringing back the cougar and young guy story line, a psycho comes into the picture and pretends to be someone they’re not, and ugly ass Mouth is somehow the only one getting tail in Tree Hill. Remember basketball? The voice-overs with quotes from famous authors? The original 5 characters that we have come to love?

There comes a time in the life of every television program where the writers and executive board hit a road block. Some shows find a way to rise above and continue to produce good television. Others fall by the wayside and they become syndicated history. In my opinion, there are a few main reasons why good shows fail, they are as follows:

1. The characters go off to college: Chances are pretty slim that you and your 5 closest friends all chose the same college to attend. So this puts the writers in a dilemma: how do we keep the chemistry between our actors when they are all at different schools? Eureka! We’ll create a new school that is in their hometown (or close by) and have them all attend there. There is no actual Penbrook University, the college  Cory, Shawn, Topanga, and Angela on Boy Meets World all magically chose to attend. And in sheer coincidence, that’s where Jack and Eric also go to school AND where Mr. Feeny happens to end up. Joey Potter gets accepted at the uber prestigious and uber fake Worthington College on Dawson’s Creek. Jen and Jack go to school at the equally as fake and half as prestigious Boston Bay College. Where do both of these fake institutions happen to be located? Boston (I guess I kind of gave that away), which is conveniently 15 minutes away from their fake hometown of Capeside.  Dawson then loses his way (of course), drops out of USC (idiot) and moves to where? Boston. Shocker.

Most shows that document high school fail when the characters transition to college. All of the family dynamics are lost, presumably because the parents don’t follow them to college. A bunch of new characters are introduced which takes screen time away from the characters we’ve formed a connection with. Most of the time the circumstances that bring all main characters to the same place are stupid and usually involve some sort of loss of faith, death of a family member, or being kicked out of school for ridiculous circumstances.

2. A main character is killed off / leaves: Getting rid of an essential cast member is one boat that should not be rocked. Yes, Marissa was annoying on The O.C. But she was the source of a lot of drama and half of the beloved pair of Ryan and Marissa. Were the writers missing broody and angry Ryan so much they needed to kill off his girlfriend to get him moody again? It’s common knowledge that I loathe the character of Peyton on One Tree Hill, but her and Lucas’ departure from the show have killed it. Ever since Dr. Burke left on Grey’s Anatomy, I can’t imagine Cristina being happy with anyone else. Any story line pairing her with another guy makes me cringe. Grey’s hasn’t been the same for me since Burke left, and then they have the nerve to kill my beloved George?!  FML. I am so not looking forward to tomorrow’s Lost, where I have been told that losties just start dropping like flies.

3. Story lines get recycled: How long can a couple play-out the “will they / won’t they” before the audience explodes? Apparently Friends can do it for 10 years. How many times can someone attempt to kill Dan Scott? How many times does Clark Kent have to save Lana Lang before she realizes he’s got magical powers? Seeing the same thing over and over and over again gets tiresome. The program eventually becomes so predictable that it’s not even worth watching anymore.

Alas, I have a sinking feeling this will be the last season of One Tree Hill. It didn’t even get to redeem itself. I am praying that the CW will give OTH one last chance to make things right aka bring back Leyton, ditch the newbies, and start showing the geniusness I know the writers still have.

RECAP: Lost, Ab Aeterno

It’s been two days since the landmark Richard centric episode aired. If you’re like me, you’re still sitting on your futon with your jaw dropped and eyes locked on your television screen with your mind still completely blown. For six years, Lost fans have been puzzled by Richard, the non-aging and eyeliner-wearing inhabitant of the island ; and now, we finally have [some] answers.

The only thing that really bugged me about this episode was the subtitles. It turns out that five years of Spanish truly did nothing for me.  I was literally lost in translation (nice pun). I hate having to read and watch at the same time. The last movie I saw with subtitles was the Passion of the Christ in 2004, and with 10+ years of Catholic school education under my belt, the movie was easy to follow. But this is Lost! You need to pay attention for the whole hour so you don’t get an ulcer from the stress of trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Oh and when Hurley was shown speaking in Spanish for the 2.5 seconds before Richard’s flashback began, my first thought was “Please, for the love of Jacob don’t be Ana Lucia.” I truly despised that character.

After five seasons, we’ve been led to believe that the island is some mysterious, time-traveling capable mass of land somewhere in the South Pacific. Nope, it’s a cork (at least metaphorically). First, I’d like to mention how awesome it was when Jacob opened that can of whoop-ass on Richard (pardon me, Ricardo). The man seemingly incarnate of all things good knows how to pack a punch and administer a rather violent baptism in the ocean. Ninja Jacob explains the island using a bottle with wine to Richard. All of the evil of the world is the wine — trapped inside the bottle by the cork aka the island, the only thing keeping the evil at bay.

Last thing, how ridiculous was the priest Richard confessed his murder to?!  I may be putting my Catholic knowledge to the test, but I am pretty sure as long as you’re truly remorseful in your heart (which it seemed he genuinely was), you can be forgiven up until the moment of your death. In my eyes, Richard completely had permission to slap the priest up side the head…although that would probably be a sin. God probably doesn’t take violence to the clergy lightly.

Is the island purgatory? Are all of our favorite characters really dead? And most importantly, who will be Jacob’s substitute? Well, we’ve got eight more episodes to find out.

photo credit: Dark UFO

RECAP: Lost, Sundown

There are only TEN episodes left of one of the greatest television shows ever. So sad. But seriously, what gives with all the creepy stares this season?! First, Fake Locke. Now Sayid, and even Claire had a little demonic gleam in her eye. Sayid is not my favorite character, so I usually dread his centric episodes. This was no exception. Sure, there was a lot to grab onto: Sayid and Dogen beating the crap out of each other, seeing Keamy again (he makes good eggs, okay), Claire creepily singing “Catch a Falling Star” a la The Others, Jin in the fridge (?), and of course the presumed beginning of the “war” that Charles Widmore warned Locke about. Dogen wasn’t my favorite character, but seeing as he is supposedly the one person preventing the Man in Black from entering the temple, having him dead is probably not a good thing. *Insert Sayid’s creepy glare here* Havoc is going to wreak in his absence. I really want to know the meaning of the baseball. I’m not sure, but wasn’t the baseball one of the objects that Richard brought to young John Locke’s house? I’m thinking that there is some sort of connection there. I’m really excited for the Richard-centric episode. It’s about time we learn about the eyeliner wearing-unaging island protector. And what about Kate?! Is she part of Locke’s crew now? Why wasn’t her name crossed out at the lighthouse, but she still isn’t one of the “main” candidates? I guess we have ten episodes left to find out.

photo credit: Dark UFO-Lost Theories

Side-note: ABC, if you ever preempt Lost again for an Iowa State basketball game (which they didn’t even win, by the way…), all hell will go down. Thanks.

RECAPS: TV Wrap-Up

Ah, the early spring hiatuses have begun. Has anyone else noticed that there is nothing on television anymore?!

One Tree Hill: I found this episode very boring. I know the death of Mama James should have had more an effect of me…but it didn’t. I feel like the whole “my parent has cancer – child wants them to fight but it’s a losing battle – parent dies” story line has been WAY overused. It was still touching and very well acted, but I guess I wanted a more original story line for Mama James. I am praying to every higher power that One Tree Hill gets picked up for an eighth and final season so the writers can wrap up the show properly. The show is going to crap as of late.

Lost: On the flip side, Lost just keeps getting better and better. This final season is turning out to be amazing. I am so glad that we are finally learning the answers to some of the fundamental questions on the show. Jack is a father in the flash-sideways story line…never saw that coming. In the final moments of the episode, Hurley and Jack arrive at the humongous lighthouse on the island (a light house they have conveniently never found during their 108 days on the island). Hurley tells Jack that Jacob has instructed him to turn the wheel to bearing 108 to help direct someone to the island. 108 has a name next to it on the wheel, Wallace. Okay, Damon/Carlton & Co., who the hell is Wallace?! I sincerely hope it’s not a random character being added to the show in the final episodes. It is becoming glaringly obvious that the passengers on flight 815 were indeed called to the island.

Nip / Tuck: Nip / Tuck’s last episode ever will be aired next Wednesday. So sad. I always look forward to tuning in to the tumultuous lives of those at McNamara/Troy. I recently read in an article here about the finale, saying that the “final hour of Nip / Tuck was unlike anything we ever expected.” This disappoints me slightly. The best thing about the show was the shock factor. I’m still looking forward to the series finale nonetheless AND to see what happens with Matt and Ava. Poor kid can’t seem to catch a break.

Valentine’s Day: I finally saw Valentine’s Day last night and it yet again asserted to me how amazing ensemble cast movies can be. Sure, some story lines took slight precedence over the others, Ashton Kutcher’s character for example, but the sharing of screen time was equally dolled out between the large cast. I personally loved the “best friends to something more” story line of Kutcher and Jennifer Garner. They were really believable as best friends. The whole Eric Dane – Bradley Cooper story line came out of left field for me. Truly a shocker there. I am not used to seeing Dane without scrubs and Cooper without Zach Galifianakis. Anyways, lovely movie.

My Top 5 Favorite Television Couples (2010 Edition)

UPDATED JUNE 4, 2012

I have always had a horrible track record of supporting the one couple in a show that is just destined to fail. It wasn’t until the LOST finale that I experienced the amazing feeling of having my OTP be endgame. But despite the imminent heartbreak, I’ve never jumped ship from these ships.

Dawson Leery & Joey Potter, DAWSON’S CREEK

He was whiny and adolescent. She was annoying and indecisive. But these best friends turned lovers made for a highly combustible couple that brought forth my first television heartbreak: their eventually demise.

Jack Shephard & Kate Austen, LOST

I was pretty much a blubbering mess throughout the entire LOST finale, but when Jack & Kate kissed on that clifftop I completely lost it. And when she found him at the benefit concert in the sideways world, I was inconsolable. And when the bright light filled the church and it was confirmed that Jate was endgame, I proclaimed it the perfect ending to a near-perfect show.

Nathan and Haley Scott, ONE TREE HILL

I never doubted that Nathan and Haley weren’t going to get their happy ending, even throughout their brief hiatus in season two and Nathan’s alleged infidelity. Married at sixteen, first child at eighteen, and all the challenges that came afterward, Nathan and Haley have always been a constant on One Tree Hill and I loved them for it.

Jeff Winger and Annie Edison, COMMUNITY

I have proclaimed my love for this not-even-a-couple couple multiple times, and I refuse to quit. Despite the fact that they’re not even a couple or had an official declaration, this May-December relationship has become a highlight of the show for me.

Mark Sloan and Lexie Grey, GREY’S ANATOMY

Shonda Rhimes, why do you insist on killing all of the beautiful things on your show? I’ve grown tired of Meredith and Derek, and I’ve never fully wrapped my head around Owen and Cristina. Alex and Izzie were perfect and now they’re dunzo. Mark and Lexie were on their way to a reconciliation, let’s kill off Lexie. Insert my pathetic cries.


Lost : Oceanic 815 flights.

So, check out this awesome video that plays the two different scenes from the original Oceanic 815 flight and the “alternate” Oceanic 815 flight. There are some major and some subtle differences, I am going to try to address as many as I can find.

  • Side-note, but in my opinion, Matthew Fox looked a lot better in the original Oceanic 815 flight. I’m digging the shaved / short hair look.
  • You can see the wing of the plane in the original
  • Cindy gives Jack two bottles of vodka in the original and one bottle in the alternate. Maybe she knew Jack wouldn’t need the other to clean his wound? O.o.
  • Before the first turbulence hit, Jack takes a drink in the alternate
  • Bernard’s a “very smart man” in the original and a “smart man” in the alternate. What happened to knock Bernard’s IQ down a few points?