RECAP: 90210, The Bachelors

So…when did 90210 start kicking some serious ass? Monday’s episode was so good; I actually enjoyed it more than Gossip Girl. The episode was reminiscent of the Boy Toy Auction in One Tree Hill, but I can overlook that fact. I repeat, 90210 has started its third season off awesomely. Granted 90210 only racked up 1.79 million viewers this week, but it’s seriously the best show you are probably not watching right now.

This week’s episode, “The Bachelors” was chock full of hot issues currently swamping our society. Intolerance, drug abuse, sexually transmitted diseases, money problems, selling your eggs for cash…so maybe that one’s a stretch. Naomi kind of took the backseat in this episode, which I was all for. Her character isn’t quite my favorite and that meant that we didn’t have to see creepy Mr. Cannon on our screens this week. Although it looks like the girls are planning an attack on Cannon next week to make him confess. This shall be interesting.

I think that 90210 is handling Teddy’s storyline very well. He’s not handling it very well i.e. the homophobic slur, but in light of the recent suicides, it’s nice to see the issue presented with an equal level of acceptance by the rest of the peach pit crew. Ian is such a cutie and I can’t wait for him to have a bigger role in future, assuming that Teddy comes to grips with reality.

Sasha aka Bitch on Wheels is back with news for Dixon: she’s HIV positive. Seeing as Dixon was planning on doing the nasty with Ivy later that night, that’s got to be the ultimate mood killer. I think it’s safe to say that Ivy didn’t end up cashing in her V-card just yet. Shame. Speaking of cashing in, Annie’s getting paid the princely sum of $20,000 for her special homemade eggs in the hopes of helping her family escape economic ruin.

Liam moves in with the Wilsons where he mysteriously develops an extreme thirst and a tendency to walk around shirtless. Not complaining. We also get another surprising revelation that Annie’s new boyfriend is Liam’s half-brother. Liam immediately reverts back to his brooding bad boy self claiming that he isn’t the right guy for Annie. Are you on your period Liam? You were cooking her dinner 2.5 seconds ago…

I hope 90210 can keep up this string of super-quality episodes. The series is constantly on the brink of being cancelled every year despite the fact it keeps getting better and better every year. Seriously, check out the revamp of the old classic. You won’t regret it.


90210 – Season 3, September 13 @ 7 – The CW

When I tell people I watch 90210 I usually get quizzical looks in return. Either A) They have only heard of it’s prequel Beverly Hills 90210 and are confused about why it’s still on air or B) They have heard the countless reviews and opinions that the new 90210 overstayed its welcome on television by episode 2.

Ever since Nip / Tuck’s lackluster series finale, 90210 has become my guilty pleasure series.  Is the writing Pulitzer Prize worthy? Absolutely not. Is the acting Emmy worthy? Nowhere near. So why do I put myself through 40-some-odd-minutes of mediocrity? The show is chock full of pretty people with such far fetched drama-filled problems that my own sitcom of a life seems relatively normal.

The first season was admittedly pretty sucky, but it was at least marginally better than the new Melrose Place. But I was actually pleasantly surprised with their sophomore season.  Even with the departure of heartthrob Ethan and the addition of unneeded useless new characters, 90210 definitely improved in its second season. Can they keep the trend going and maybe have a *gasp* decent third season? Here’s what I would like to see happen this year on 90210:

  • After Ethan left and killed my hopes of he and Annie ending up together, I put all my hopes in Dixon and Silver…and of course, they broke up.  Typical. Going into season three, I have fully hitched my support sails to the Liam/Annie ship. I think I am going to get what I want here. The way the show is going, I fully predict that Lannie will happen in some context – we’ve still got the Naomi and Jasper characters that could throw a wrench in the mechanism. I’m only assuming that because it’s been confirmed that Teddy’s coming out of the closet, Teddy and Silver are effectively dunzo. But you never know what could happen in TV Land.

  • The car crash/killing a hobo storyline needs to be wrapped asap. It’s gone on for forever and quite frankly I could give a crap anymore. Annie needs to man up and confess or if (most likely) there is some sudden twist to the event, make it worth our while. I’m not going to buy a “the hobo was already dead and Annie hit a tree branch” excuse. Let loose those creative floodgates, writers.
  • Even though it’s sometimes needed, I hate it when shows continually bring in new characters to “shake things up.” I generally end up hating them all and new people have a tendency to break up the couples that I support. Ivy has served her purpose of coming between Liam and Naomi and making Dixon realize he should be with Silver. Her time is up. After Liam (hopefully) breaks up with Silver, he has no ties to any other character. His time is up. Let them go, please.

RECAPS: Season Finales

This past week of television season finales was fully loaded with break ups, make ups, hook ups, surprising and not-so-surprising pregnancies…and guns. A multitude of guns. Out of the four season finales I watched this week (One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl, 90210 and Grey’s Anatomy), a stunning total of eight main characters were fatally shot. Of course in Grey’s Anatomy there was a sheer number of the dead or injured by the end, but honestly there were only five we truly cared about. And okay, 90210 did not literally have fire arms on the show, but I think Matt Lanter’s guns are licensed to kill.

I’m going to start with One Tree Hill. On the whole, I found this episode to be extremely lack-luster. Brooke and Julian are engaged, great for Brooke (look at that honker of a ring), but I will always remain a loyal Brucas believer. Haley’s pregnant (nice work, Nate). The amount of screen time devoted to characters I could give a rat’s ass about is truly testing my patience. I don’t care about stubbly Grubbs trying to get into the British lady’s pants again, which I can only imagine would happen if he elected to wear a paper bag over his head. I loved Chase when he had a purpose aka Brooke’s boyfriend in season four, but now he’s a waste of screen time. In short, the following characters need to be given the axe for the final season of One Tree Hill: Grubbs, Miranda the Brit, Chase (unless he gets a more interesting and important story line), Mia, Alex, Alexander, Josh, and most importantly, Quinn and Clay. In the final minutes of the finale, PsychoKatie makes a comeback and shoots both Quinn and Clay. I have to admit, I flipped a lot of serious shit at that moment. Totally did not see that coming. Okay writers, you have a golden opportunity here. By leaving the fate of these two characters hanging in the balance, it would be too easy to kill them both off and make season eight entirely focused on the main characters we actually like. And on the same note, enough with all of the deranged and psychotic characters. I think PsychoDerek, PsychoNannyCarrie, and PsychoKatie have filled the quotient of crazies allowed to roam free in Tree Hill. I may sound like a broken record, but seeing a OTH finale like this just reminds me of how awesome this show used to be. Remember the season two finale with the dealership fire? Now, THAT’S a finale.

On to Gossip Girl…Damn. You. Jenny. Humphrey. Jenny and I definitely to do not get along, she messes with all the relationships I love on the show. Chuck and Blair almost had a happy reunion, but nooooo… Jenny HAD to be “lonely” and do the nasty with the one person she shouldn’t, Eric HAD to find out why Jenny is drowning in tears and running eye liner/mascara, Dan HAD to get all macho and deliver a complimentary knuckle-sandwich to Chuck, and of course this all HAD to happen at the moment when Chuck was presumably going to propose to Blair. FML. Then poor, heartbroken Chuck gets shot for protecting Blair’s engagement ring just a few minutes later. Chuck Bass is the only character that needs to be alive come fall. I don’t think the writers would go there, but still, my smooth-talking man-whore better be healthy as a horse in the fall.

I’m going to gloss over 90210 and  skip Glee/Lost since those weren’t season finales. Teddy and Ivy as regulars next season? Gag me. Silver and Teddy / Dixon and Ivy reuniting? Gag me. Teddy and Ivy need to crawl back into the holes they came out of and let Silver and Dixon realize they belong together. Also, the members of the 90210 gang are supposed to be juniors? Right and Lea Michele is supposed to be playing a character born in 1994.

Okay, Grey’s Anatomy. Holy hell. I have been on the brink of writing this show off my weekly schedule of television watching ever since the introduction of ugly ginger Owen, the merger with Mercy West and the break up of Mark and Lexie. But Thursday’s finale was insane. Meredith and Derek have never been a favorite couple of mine, but watching Meredith’s silent scream when Derek was shot (by the way, nice work Sarah Drew, you got McDreamy shot) and her plea to the gunman to kill her instead was unbelievably heart wrenching. Not to be insensitive, but I could care less whether anyone shot during Grey‘s finale lives or dies. McDreamy is obviously safe, no McDreamy = no program. Alex is getting in the way of my Mark and Lexie and I’ve hated Owen from the beginning. The deaths of Reed and Charles had no impact on me, other than a sudden jump when the gun fired (I hate loud noises). I just wish Gary Clark had taken down Arizona and April while he was at it. God, I sound like such a horrible person. Don’t get me wrong, I thought the finale was amazingly written, amazingly acted, and amazing in general. I was definitely shaken up by the end.

Hopefully the next batch of season finales will be tad bit lighter. I’m guessing Lost isn’t going to give that to me (SERIES FINALE SUNDAY! *sob*) but I’m assuming the regional show choir competition in Glee will not include a GSW, but who knows…I’m not one to question Puck’s bad-ass guns.

screencap from IMDB.