one tree hill

Only in Tree Hill…

In honor of the final episodes of one of the most drama filled teen dramas, One Tree Hill, this will be one of the many OTH-themed posts dedicated to saying goodbye. And I’m kicking it off with things that only find in the ever zany town of Tree Hill, North Carolina:

Only in Tree Hill (and NOT Lima, Ohio) will a marriage between two sixteen year olds not only work, but yield two children and still come out hella strong.

Only in Tree Hill is it completely plausible that in a small core group of five friends, one person became the writer of two national bestsellers, one played for the NBA, one started their own successful record label…from scratch, one is a recognized musician and has toured the country twice, and one started their own couture fashion line that became a national conglomerate.

Only in Tree Hill will parents disappear while their kids are still in high school to:

  1. Travel RV style across America
  2. Transfer for a job in California and leave their daughter in the very capable hands of a family/friend who is there 50 percent of the time
  3. Flee town out of embarrassment
  4. Attend therapy/rehab

Only in Tree Hill will you find the highest car crash per person ratio than any city in the United States.

Only in Tree Hill, will a medic trip and fall, causing the transplant heart he was carrying to somehow fly out of the icebox and straight into the waiting mouth of a seeing-eye-dog.

Only in Tree Hill does Peyton Sawyer end up with Lucas Scott over Brooke Davis.

Only in Tree Hill will big name artists like Jimmy Eat World and Angels and Airwaves make the time to perform at a summer kick-off party or high school prom. And Sheryl Crow will agree to play one song per cup of coffee at a local café.

Only in Tree Hill sappy speeches in the rain fix all relationship problems.

Only in Tree Hill will you find a Derek (a psycho fake brother), Carrie (a psycho kidnapping nanny and would-be adulterer), Katie (a psycho jealous identity thief) and Xavier (a psycho with an anger management problem who has also made, “Have a nice night” the creepiest catchphrase in television). All four of which targeted the same group of friends.

Only in Tree Hill will you find Dan Scott, aka Mr. Indestructible. Dan Scott was clearly hit by the electrical storm a la Misfits and became immortal like Nathan Young. That dude should have died at least twice by now and he’s still alive and kickin’ and kickin’ other peoples’ asses no less.

Only in Tree Hill, will a Mouth McFadden get inordinate amounts of booty.

Big, Blonde, Beautiful…and Bitchy

In every television show, there is always that certain character you hate. For me, there are usually a handful. I am never simply indifferent about a character, I’m either a fan or their nemesis. And looking back on some of my least favorite characters, I’ve noticed a pattern with the females. They are almost always the female lead, blonde and curly haired and are known for being a HBIC. I can’t really explain my hatred, because I happen to love other fair-haired characters like Quinn Fabray & Caroline Forbes, who could also be considered a HBIC. But there is something about these 5 that have the power to make me want to shut off the tv. How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways…

Peyton Sawyer / Hilarie Burton, ONE TREE HILL

I have never loathed a character as much as P. Sawyer. I found her whiny woe-as-me demeanor to be exceedingly boring and annoying. My personal war against Peyton started in season 1 when she started hooking up with Lucas behind her BFF’s back. And yes, I am extremely anti-Leyton, but even after I accepted Brucas was dunzo I always thought Lucas deserved more than Peyton.

Jen Lindley / Michelle Williams, DAWSON’S CREEK

I never seem to be a fan of the character who chooses to be a rebel simply because they want to be known as a rebel. And that’s Jen. In addition, she attempted to break up my OTP in season 2, snatched Dawson’s virginity and caused drama for the sake of causing drama. Jen only got back into my good books in the series finale…and then she died.

Naomi Clark / AnnaLynne McCord, 90210

Naomi is Beverly Hills’ token spoiled bitch and I have never been a fan of hers. And while she got a bit more bearable this past season (I actually liked her with Max), all of that was ruined when she revealed she was preggers in the last seconds of the finale. And okay, that wasn’t necessarily her character’s fault but it definitely won’t help me like her more.

Marissa Cooper / Mischa Barton, THE O.C.

Because Marissa & Ryan were a power couple of the show, I also disliked Ryan by association. It wasn’t until Marissa kicked the bucket (and made me ecstatic) that I realized I actually liked Ryan. And his new girlfriend, Taylor, as annoying as she might have been was 10 times better than Marissa. Like the others, drama followed her around like a stormy rain-cloud and she bucked the system just to say she did. Her death was one of my O.C. moments.

Britta Perry / Gillian Jacobs, COMMUNITY

Britta is the newest addition to my list of hated characters. When she starts another one of her political debates I groan in sync with the rest of the study group. It doesn’t help that she constantly has a sour puss expression on her face and I can’t stand Jeff with Britta, but I would loathe her whether or not I was pro-Jeff & Annie.

REVIEW: 2010-2011 Television Season

I have always watched a crap-ton of tv, but this year seemed particularly heavy. I had at least two shows per day Monday thru Thursday and I discovered the brilliance of British television. It’s been a busy television season and on the whole, I’m satisfied with the finales we got.

Shows That Premiered This  Season…

After watching the pilot episode, I stuck with only four shows this year: Being Human, Shameless, Happy Endings and The Walking Dead. I always bitch about how much I hate American remakes of British tv shows…and yet two of them made the list. However, unlike Skins, these remakes are actually good. People have been listing Happy Endings on their comedy Emmy wishlists, and while I think that is a wee bit of a stretch, this show surprised me. Any sitcom revolving around a group of friends is immediately likened to, well, Friends. I found the overall premise of Happy Endings to be relatively weak, but the show definitely improved over the course of its short season.

FAVORITE NEW SHOW: Being Human, hands down. The show just gives such a fresh spin on the whole vamp-werewolf dynamic and it totally holds its own against the U.K. counterpart. Although, it’s official, I can’t stand the Josh/George character aka the werewolf in either version.

Discovered shows already on air…

This year, I discovered so many wonderful programs that are already on air. I love this, because then I have oodles of episodes to watch without an annoying hiatus. Thanks to blogs and mostly Tumblr, I had heard only high praises for the British shows, Misfits and Skins. Misfits is by far one of the funniest shows I’ve ever seen and I kind of have a crush on Robert Sheehan. I also randomly stumbled upon The Big Bang Theory bloopers on YouTube and even those made me crack up, which gave me the incentive to blindly purchase the dvds. And it’s amazing. I am making it my mission to attend a taping before I leave LA.

While I am still making my way through Parks and Recreation & 30 Rock, I have to say, I love NBC’s Thursday night comedy line-up. I know I am so late to The Office party, it’s not even funny. Within a course of 4 days, I watched every single episode on Hulu. What can I say? It was a boring finals week. And unlike other fans, I don’t think the show has necessarily lost its mojo, I for one, loved season 6. I caught the last few episodes of season 7 on air and while I do agree that it will be a different program, I think the show has potential to be great without Michael Scott / Steve Carell. One of my roomies always sang the praises of Chuck, so I gave that a try, too. It’s a great dramedy and I kind of have a crush on Zachary Levi, too.

FAVORITE NEW SHOW ALREADY ON AIR: This is such a tough decision because I love each and every one of the programs shown above. But it has to be Community. If Glee gets an Emmy nod and Community doesn’t, there’s officially no justice in the world. Even Community‘s “weaker” episodes are better than most shows’ best. And it’s two-parter paintball season finale was damn near flawless. Community‘s comedic style is exactly my cup of tea and I am officially the biggest Jeff & Annie fan ever. I would normally find a relationship between a 20-year-old girl and a guy who is nearly 40 to be disgusting, but they are absolutely adorbs. And to think I only discovered this gem because it was on sale at Target…I have so much love for Target.

Returning shows…

FAVORITE RETURNING SHOW / BEST OVERALL SEASON: This was really not a tough call, as a lot of these shows had lackluster seasons, The Vampire Diaries. Now, I am not one of those crazy TVD fans who stakes out polls on Entertainment Weekly until TVD reigns supreme, but this season was very strong overall. I am such a fan of Tyler & Caroline and I cannot wait to see where the writers take this storyline. We finally saw some progression in the Stefan / Elena / Damon triangle and Jeremy finally got some lovin’ and a relationship I approve of. No sophomore slump here.

ONE TREE HILL: Much like Glee becoming the Kurt Show at times, One Tree Hill morphed into the Brooke & Julian Show. And I love Brooke and Julian, but it was overkill with the babies. If the network would have let Mark Schwahn & crew do the abortion storyline intended for Brooke in season 4, it would have added another dimension to the fact that she is unable to have children. It just seemed too easy to have Brooke get magically pregnant, with twins no less. I love me some Stephen Colletti, but I think the fact that he is now a series regular says enough. We all know that One Tree Hill should have ended after season 6, if not season 4. Although OTH never racked up high numbers, as a long-time fan, it’s horrible to see how its fallen not only in ratings but in quality.

LIGHTS OUT: I won’t divulge too much because it hasn’t aired on NBC yet, but I thoroughly enjoyed the finale. It was the perfect end to a nearly-perfect show. Can we get some Emmy love, pwease?

I generally enjoyed 90210‘s season 3. I think the first half of the season why stronger, but it overall was exponentially better than Gossip Girl. The only thing I really liked about Glee season 2 was the return of Fuinn and we all know how that ended. As for Grey’s, hopefully this season will be its last and it can go out on a high note. It’s already losing its magic, I don’t buy any article that claims Grey’s is having a comeback. Just limit the Calzona, give Alex a substantial love interest, bring back Addison and reunite Mark & Lexie and you’ll be back on track.

So what’s going to be my summer obsession? Well, So You Think You Can Dance, obvi, but I also started watching Six Feet Under today and I’m loving it so far. I am also planning to spend this summer checking out Fringe, Parenthood, Modern Family and The Good Wife.  All I can say is, thank God for Netflix.

Four HBIC with Big Hearts

Every television show has them: the bitchy popular girl a la Regina George who rules the school and makes the lives of others a living hell. They get what they want when they want and typically have a picture-perfect life from the outside. You’re meant to hate them right along with everyone else, but in the end, you can’t help but love them. Because on the inside, the part of them very few ever see, these girls are vulnerable, insecure and just want to be accepted like everyone else.

4. Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl

at her bitchiest: Since we’re not friends anymore let me speak frankly, you’re not that smart. You lack focus and discipline. Charm is all well and good but in the real world knowledge is power. You wouldn’t make it past the first round of admissions at Yale no matter how hard you tried. Have fun in Providence.

at her best: I really need my friend right now. I’ve been acting like I’m okay, but I’m not. They say it’s a broken heart, but… I hurt in my whole body.

3. Mini McGuinness, Skins

at her bitchiest: I hope you die puking up your kidneys. Bitch.

at her best: I’ve been a complete bitch. To you all. Some more than others. And I’m really sorry. It’s just… well, you’re all so cool and alternative, and when I’m with you I feel like a bit like… Nicola Roberts. She’s the plain one in Girls Aloud.

2. Brooke Davis, One Tree Hill

at her bitchiest: Okay, guy in need of a clue. Here’s one. Women send signals. That was a brush off. Before you dip into your shallow pool of wit, let me paint us a picture and save us both the trouble. Here’s your evening. You are going to slink back off to your buddies, laugh this off, get wasted, go home, and make nice with yourself. But don’t be thinking of me, because even your fantasy of me, isn’t interested in you.

at her best: There’s a day when you realize that you’re not just a survivior, you’re a warrior. You’re tougher than anything life throws your way, and you are.

1. Quinn Fabray, Glee

at her bitchiest: Are you an idiot? How am I supposed to trust you to take care of our baby when you can’t even figure out how to sell a damn cupcake?

at her best: I can’t do this. This year is about me and don’t say that I am selfish because you have no idea how much I’ve been through. I’ve been down this path before, I know this feeling…like I need you. Duets don’t work for me and I don’t need you. What I need is to find a way to keep Santana off my heels, what I need is to find a way to torture Rachel and I need to start learning to ignore people.

Five Times When OTH Jumped the Shark

As a once avid fan of One Tree Hill, it pains me to say that the show has truly overstayed its welcome. If I had it my way, the show would have ended at season four and went out on a high note. Granted, seasons five and six weren’t necessarily god-awful, but I think OTH fans can agree that the show lost much of its spark. One Tree Hill has garnered some of the lowest ratings of all major networks and has been used as a punch line for its immortality. There are obviously more, but here are my top five times when OTH jumped the shark…

5. 1940s flashback (6.11 We Three (My Echo, My Shadow and Me)

This episode had no point, unless you count letting CMM write an episode. And it was bad. Really bad. The only way the episode could have been salvaged was to let Peyton actually die at the end. But of course, it was only just a dream. Rats.

4. Kevin Federline guest stars (season 5)

Why, Mark Schwahn, why?! There are countless other talented, bad ass rock stars who could have made a guest appearance. Britney’s hard core ex, K Fed, should not be included amongst them.

3. Deb & Skills / Dan & Rachel (season 5-6)

The older Scotts got some action with their sons’ classmates, Skills & Rachel. Deb & Skills were somewhat tolerable, but Dan & Rachel were disgusting. Sure, it made for some good laughs, but seeing Dan kissing Rachel is something I want to permanently erase from my memory.

2. Nanny Carrie & Psycho Katie (seasons 5-7)

Exactly how many demented psychopaths live in Tree Hill?! Apparently each canon couple on OTH needs a psycho-subplot: Peyton & Lucas had Psycho Derek; Nathan & Haley had Nanny Carrie; Brooke & Julian had the guy who kidnapped Sam and robbed Brooke; Clay & Quinn had Psycho Katie. I was fine with the Psycho Derek story line, more because it freaked me out more than anything. Nanny Carrie got a little ridiculous but the addition of Katie is just too much.

1. Dog Eats Dan’s New Heart (6.18 Searching for a Former Clarity)

Dan is smugly chilling in the hospital waiting room for his heart transplant. The guy with the heart trips over the dog’s leash and the ticker goes flying. And then the whole room watches in horror as the dog slurps down the core of the human body. The first time I saw this I laughed. Then I felt horrible. Then I felt disgusted. Finally I settled on feeling immense pity for the writers who put together that crap. If this isn’t a ‘jump the shark’ moment, I don’t know what is.

FALL TV WISHLIST: One Tree Hill

One Tree Hill : Season 8, September 14 @ 7 – The CW


There are so many things I would like to see happen in One Tree Hill’s eighth season.  However, I have learned over the years that Mark Schwahn and Co. and I do not see eye to eye when it comes to this series. I have a feeling that OTH will continue its downward slide to Television That Sucks. It really pains me to see how bad this show has become.  If I had my way, the show would have ended at the end of season four. I haven’t really been “wowed” by an episode of OTH since then.

I sincerely hope this is the final season of OTH and this is coming from a long-time fan of the series. Unless the writers can magically get Chad Michael Murray and Hilarie Burton to return, the show needs to cut its losses and call it quits. I can already imagine a lackluster series finale and it’s a shame. The writers have proved to us that they are better than this.

Since I have such low expectations for this season, I really don’t have a lot of requests:

  • The show cannot afford to lose any more of the original cast members. If Haley leaves, the show just needs to end there. Without Haley, we lose the heart of the show. Without Haley, we have no Naley.
  • Get rid of the excess characters, which include the following: Clay, Quinn, Grubbs, British Chick, Psycho Katie, Mouth/Skill’s girlfriend and Alex. I have learned to deal with Mouth and Skills as permanent cast members, but that’s as much as I can handle. I would rather see the main characters of Nathan, Haley and Brooke get good storylines than see the whole cast get run-of-the-mill material.
  • Earth to Mark Schwahn: For four wonderful seasons you created a solid drama series that not only had quality acting and writing but heart. So few shows today have heart and you lost it.

So long, One Tree Hill, it was nice knowing you. But if things don’t drastically improve, if might be time for us to make our separate ways.