Dear Doctor Friends, Please Stop

June 21, 2018October 16, 2019Leave a comment

Whew. It’s been a hot second since I’ve had a good rant. Did you miss me? And this one has been brewing for a while.

I have a lot of friends in the medical field. Nurses, doctors-to-be, researchers, pharmacists…I’m often the odd one out at parties and large groups of friends. As you all know, I’m also tv fiend. Medical shows aren’t my go-to’s, but I enjoy watching them: Grey’s, The Resident, House, Private Practice, just to name a few. The medical field is also a popular profession for main characters in movies—and why not? They save lives. They’re rich. They’re typically unnaturally good-looking. AKA The Perfect Leads.

So, it will inevitably happen that I’ll be enjoying a beautiful declaration of love from Ashton Kutcher outside of a hospital (No Strings Attached), when the moment is ruined by my friend saying, “That’s such a parking violation. You can’t do that at a hospital. Last week at work….” STOP. You’ve ruined the moment for me.

On Grey’s this season, April had hypothermia and was without a heartbeat for 5+ hours and yet, still woke up fine and without brain damage. Just because I didn’t go to medical school, doesn’t mean that I can’t differentiate between what’s possible and what’s not. I didn’t need the 45-minute diatribe against Shonda Rhimes and the Grey’s writing staff. What matters is that April DIDN’T die and I’m upset they missed this opportunity to axe her character.

I know that hospital personnel do not frequently bed each other in the on-call room. If a doctor comes to work drunk, they obviously aren’t given a banana bag and told to wait around until their blood work is clean. If a nurse walked in on a doctor screwing a patient, they wouldn’t jump in and make it a threesome. (Ok, SOME might. But let’s be real.) That’s an HR issue. That’s highly unethical. I’m not stupid.

In conclusion, to my “Smart Friends”: Let me have this. From what I can tell from your work stories, your average work day has the potential to be just as boring as mine. I want to watch a show that makes me suspend my disbelief just a little. I want weird medical cases. I want unnecessary drama. I want to watch desperate doctors cut l-vad wires to move their boyfriend up the transplant list.

I love you all—but please shut up. Let me spend an hour gazing at Matt Czuchry in peace.

Bachelor Ben: Episode Five

February 3, 2016October 17, 20191 Comment

We’re five weeks into The Bachelor season 20 and I’m back with musings. I’m still spoiler-free, so I’m just going to assume that I am dead wrong.

Olivia: Let me be the first to say that I’m embarrassed that I put her in my favorites list on night 1. Girlfran is crayzayyyy. I sincerely hope that her rose gets taken away (thanks for the cliffhanger, ABC). She eats up way too much airtime when the focus could be on the girls whose names I still forget. She’s way too cocky and I can’t wait to see her get knocked off her high horse. Because I refuse to believe that Ben is going to fall for her act much longer. I have faith in you, Ben.

I’m Emily. Thank you, @BachelorABC for this Vine.

The Laurens: I had Lauren H. in my list of favorites from night 1, and unfortunately I’m going to have to knock her off. There’s nothing particularly wrong with her, I just found her date with Ben kinda lackluster. There’s no real chemistry there. I can see her sticking around for a week or two more then getting the boot. Lauren B., however, gets a promotion to my LIKES list.
JoJo + Caila: I like them and I can see them both staying around. They seem like nice, grounded girls.
Amanda: The single mom is still in my list of faves. How cute was it when Ben helped her make hairclips for her kiddos? I hope she at least makes it to Hometowns so he can meet them.
Becca: She was my fave from Chris’ season, so part of me really hopes she takes it all. I’m not expecting that, but a girl can dream.
Emily: I like her so much more now that her twin got the axe. I don’t expect her to be around much longer, but her personality is finally coming out. And I’m glad I can Google “Bachelor Emily Knife” and get that Vine.
Jennifer + Leah aka Who That: I don’t understand how they’re still here. But then again, no one knew who Catherine was for the longest time during Sean’s season. If Olivia doesn’t get her rose taken away this week, it HAS to be one of the unknowns getting sent home.

So basically (TL;DR): my final two hopes, Amanda and Lauren B., and Olivia needs to leave yesterday.

MORE “BACHELOR”:
Episode 1 Recap

2011-2012 Television Season: Favorite New Shows

June 2, 2012October 17, 2019Leave a comment

HONORABLE MENTION: American Horror Story

The opening credits should get an award for being the creepiest credits ever (I mean, look at this). Add in a rubber body suit, depressed homicidal teens, Piggy Man and a half-dismembered limb-half-animal-parts baby, and apparently you’ve got yourself a winner.
SYNOPSIS IN A SENTENCE: An already dysfunctional family moves into a haunted house where some über creepy shit went down.
BEST EPISODE: Halloween.
NOTABLE QUOTE: “I questioned my sanity when I first found out. But this house, this house will make you a believer.” —Constance

5. Revenge
Soap-y fun in a beautiful locale where queen bitches and scheming Hamptonites are everywhere. What’s not to like? The Graysons might rival for the Scotts for The Family In Most Need of Group Therapy award.
SYNOPSIS IN A SENTENCE: A girl heads out on a mission to seek revenge on those responsible for the wrongful imprisonment of her father.
BEST EPISODE: Chaos.
NOTABLE QUOTE: “I will never forget. I will never forgive.” —Emily

4. Once Upon a Time
You can tell a show comes from the creators of LOST when the story circles around the main character, Emma, and her relationship with her biological son who was adopted by the mayor who is actually his biological grandmother while she’s unknowingly living with her mother and is the would-be savior of the fantastical world.
SYNOPSIS IN A SENTENCE: The Evil Queen puts a curse on all fairytale characters condemning them to slum it out in the “real world.”
BEST EPISODE: Hat Trick.
NOTABLE QUOTE: “You know what the issue is with this world, everyone wants a magical solution for their problems and everyone refuses to believe in magic.” —Jefferson/Mad Hatter

3. Hart of Dixie
This show is adorable. Plain and simple. It’s a CW show so everyone is beautiful and watching beautiful people deal with unnecessary drama is the best way to spend an evening. And if you doubt Rachel Bilson’s ability to pull off a very Cristina Yang-like doctor, here’s my (and her) response.
SYNOPSIS IN A SENTENCE: Big shot big city doctor Summer Roberts…erm Zoe Hart moves to Alabama after being bequeathed a family practice by a mysterious man who turns out to be her father.
BEST EPISODE: In Havoc and In Heat (just ditch the jorts, Wade)
NOTABLE QUOTE: “Well, my night had quickly gone downhill, but in times like this, I’ve found that one thing really helps me through — Wine.” —Zoe

2. New Girl
I feel like I should preface this by saying I can’t stand Zooey Deschanel and I fully expected to hate this. And even though New Girl hasn’t helped me dislike her less (I’d still watch without its eponymous “new girl”), I will gladly tolerate Ms. Deschanel for 30 minutes to watch this show.
SYNOPSIS IN A SENTENCE: Shenanigans ensue when eccentric Jess moves in with three equally quirky bachelors after catching her ugly hippie boyfriend cheating.
BEST EPISODE: The Landlord.
NOTABLE QUOTE:
Schmidt: Who let the dirty slut out of the slut house?
Jess [in a British accent]: Probably the slut butler, right?

1. Homeland
If you haven’t had the extreme pleasure of viewing this gem from Showtime, do yourself a favor and find a way. Like I said in my initial review, I hate politics and political shows with a passion, but this show had me hooked. You will get chills at least twice an episode. The freakiest factor? It all seems perfectly plausible. This show better walk away with an Emmy and two for Claire Danes and Damian Lewis.
SYNOPSIS IN A SENTENCE: POW returns to the US of A after being held captive for eight years and a bipolar CIA agent thinks he’s working for Al-Qaeda.
BEST EPISODE: Marine One, although The Weekend is a very close second.
NOTABLE QUOTE: “Somewhere down there, there’s a tiny sliver of green just taking its time. This is how everything works. You wait. You lay low. And then you come to life.” —Carrie

Three TV Deaths I Rather Enjoyed

May 4, 2011October 17, 20193 Comments

I don’t wish death or unfortunate situations on anyone…in the real world that is. Television characters, on the other hand, there are some occasions where I root for the earthquake, for the brain tumor or for the villain. Okay, that made me sound like a horrible person, but I think everyone has that one character they wish would just curl up and die. I have multiple, but here are my top three. And in all of these situations, I feel like I am in the minority of people who were thrilled when these three characters went into the light.

So here they are, three tv character deaths that made me a highly satisfied viewer. Click the images for videos of the moment they met their maker.

3. Juliet Burke (Elizabeth Mitchell), LOST

Elizabeth Mitchell is a wonderful actress, but I never liked Juliet. She was a wedge between my precious Jack and Kate, I could never get myself to trust her character and her soft, monotone voice always pissed me off. When the magnetic forces surrounding the swan worksite started to pull her down the tunnel of doom, I got giddy. When Sawyer couldn’t rescue her from the tunnel of doom, I was overly excited. And when she finally bit the dust in Sawyer’s arms, I was the happiest Lost fan on the planet. As Juliet got sucked down into the darkness, I distinctly remember saying, “I always hated her.” I was met with looks of horror and disgust from my viewing mates and thus received a chorus of “You’re such a bitch!” in return. A ‘bitch’ I may be, but that didn’t change the fact that Juliet was dead.

2. Marissa Cooper (Mischa Barton), The O.C.

Marissa was one of those characters I hated from the start. I never saw the appeal of her character. But most of all, I hated her relationship with Ryan. She was no where near good enough for him (Taylor&Ryan FTW). So when Volchok ran the car off the road and the car went up in flames, (as much as I love Ryan) I would have been fine with both of them exploding if it meant Marissa was gone. But luckily, only the rich bitch bit snuffed it. Side note, other than her time in the slammer, what has Mischa Barton been doing lately? She seems to have dropped off the map, although, I admit that “The Beautiful Life” had potential to become a guilty pleasure of mine.

1. Denny Duquette (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), Grey’s Anatomy

In my opinion, Denny Duquette is the worst character they have ever introduced on Grey’s and that’s including Teddy & Owen. According to many featurettes and interviews I’ve seen, Denny was originally intended to only have a 3-4 episode arc, but Shonda Rhimes & Co. saw the potential of a relationship between Denny and Izzie and kept giving the little bastard material. Did it make for an interesting story line? Sure. Did it make for a drama-filled finale? Definitely. But did Denny need to keep reappearing for ghost!sex, “go in to the light” moments and other random times? Hell no. The moment Denny finally flatlined is still my most satisfying Grey’s moment to date.

My Ideal Television Family

February 18, 2011October 17, 2019Leave a comment

Parents: Eric & Tami Taylor, Friday Night Lights (Kyle Chandler & Connie Britton)

I can think of no other perfect parental unit than the Taylors of FNL. They occasionally get into arguments but always make up by the episode’s end. They compromise and make decisions with each other’s best interests at heart. The Southern accents would have to go, though.

Siblings: Nathan Young, Misfits (Robert Sheehan) & Quinn Fabray, Glee (Dianna Agron)

Nathan’s got an ASBO and you know, gets tricked into sleeping with 82-year-olds. Quinn can’t stop cheating on her boyfriends and there was that whole got-pregnant-with-boyfriend’s-best-friend thing. No matter what I do I would look great in comparison. To 99.9% of the world, Nathan is an ass. Case in point. But to the few he actually cares about, he’s fiercely loyal. And anyways, it would be killer to have a bro with an Irish accent. Quinn’s got a closet full of Anthropologie and Free People dresses/cardigans and any nice big sister would let me raid said closet every day, right? These two would be perfect older siblings. Quinn’s Queen Bee and thanks to a magical icestorm, Nathan’s immortal! Both of them would kick the crap out of anyone who did me wrong.

Best Friends: Cassie Ainsworth, Skins UK (Hannah Murray) & Seth Cohen, The OC (Adam Brody)

Cassie is a flighty, anorexic airhead who says, “wow” and “lovely” far too much. Pretty much a total trainwreck. She never really had a best friend on Skins and she constantly got screwed over on the show. But you’ve got to admit that would make for an interesting friend. I’m also hoping her accent would rub off on me. [I’m big on accents if you can’t tell] Seth’s a geek, plain and simple. But he’s geek chic. He dresses classy, loves Star Wars and can whip out movie quotes like it’s nobody’s business. I’m thinking we would be those typical television friends who eventually get together. I’d be totally on board with that.

Five Best TV-Music Moments

October 9, 2010October 17, 2019Leave a comment

You know those moments when the right piece music comes together with the right scene and it creates a blend of auditory and visual perfection? I live for those moments. Music has always been a big part of my life and it always plays a part in my overall assessment of a film or television program. These are the scenes that I constantly replay for the fabulous combo of acting and music. I literally got goose bumps and teared-up while re-watching the YouTube videos…for the millionth time, yes, I know how pathetic I am.

Hide and Seek, The O.C. –> Marissa shoots Trey to save Ryan. Cue Imogen Heap