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Big, Blonde, Beautiful…and Bitchy

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In every television show, there is always that certain character you hate. For me, there are usually a handful. I am never simply indifferent about a character, I’m either a fan or their nemesis. And looking back on some of my least favorite characters, I’ve noticed a pattern with the females. They are almost always the female lead, blonde and curly haired and are known for being a HBIC. I can’t really explain my hatred, because I happen to love other fair-haired characters like Quinn Fabray & Caroline Forbes, who could also be considered a HBIC. But there is something about these 5 that have the power to make me want to shut off the tv. How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways…

Peyton Sawyer / Hilarie Burton, ONE TREE HILL

I have never loathed a character as much as P. Sawyer. I found her whiny woe-as-me demeanor to be exceedingly boring and annoying. My personal war against Peyton started in season 1 when she started hooking up with Lucas behind her BFF’s back. And yes, I am extremely anti-Leyton, but even after I accepted Brucas was dunzo I always thought Lucas deserved more than Peyton.

Jen Lindley / Michelle Williams, DAWSON’S CREEK

I never seem to be a fan of the character who chooses to be a rebel simply because they want to be known as a rebel. And that’s Jen. In addition, she attempted to break up my OTP in season 2, snatched Dawson’s virginity and caused drama for the sake of causing drama. Jen only got back into my good books in the series finale…and then she died.

Naomi Clark / AnnaLynne McCord, 90210

Naomi is Beverly Hills’ token spoiled bitch and I have never been a fan of hers. And while she got a bit more bearable this past season (I actually liked her with Max), all of that was ruined when she revealed she was preggers in the last seconds of the finale. And okay, that wasn’t necessarily her character’s fault but it definitely won’t help me like her more.

Marissa Cooper / Mischa Barton, THE O.C.

Because Marissa & Ryan were a power couple of the show, I also disliked Ryan by association. It wasn’t until Marissa kicked the bucket (and made me ecstatic) that I realized I actually liked Ryan. And his new girlfriend, Taylor, as annoying as she might have been was 10 times better than Marissa. Like the others, drama followed her around like a stormy rain-cloud and she bucked the system just to say she did. Her death was one of my O.C. moments.

Britta Perry / Gillian Jacobs, COMMUNITY

Britta is the newest addition to my list of hated characters. When she starts another one of her political debates I groan in sync with the rest of the study group. It doesn’t help that she constantly has a sour puss expression on her face and I can’t stand Jeff with Britta, but I would loathe her whether or not I was pro-Jeff & Annie.

REVIEW: 2010-2011 Television Season

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I have always watched a crap-ton of tv, but this year seemed particularly heavy. I had at least two shows per day Monday thru Thursday and I discovered the brilliance of British television. It’s been a busy television season and on the whole, I’m satisfied with the finales we got.

Shows That Premiered This  Season…

After watching the pilot episode, I stuck with only four shows this year: Being Human, Shameless, Happy Endings and The Walking Dead. I always bitch about how much I hate American remakes of British tv shows…and yet two of them made the list. However, unlike Skins, these remakes are actually good. People have been listing Happy Endings on their comedy Emmy wishlists, and while I think that is a wee bit of a stretch, this show surprised me. Any sitcom revolving around a group of friends is immediately likened to, well, Friends. I found the overall premise of Happy Endings to be relatively weak, but the show definitely improved over the course of its short season.

FAVORITE NEW SHOW: Being Human, hands down. The show just gives such a fresh spin on the whole vamp-werewolf dynamic and it totally holds its own against the U.K. counterpart. Although, it’s official, I can’t stand the Josh/George character aka the werewolf in either version.

Discovered shows already on air…

This year, I discovered so many wonderful programs that are already on air. I love this, because then I have oodles of episodes to watch without an annoying hiatus. Thanks to blogs and mostly Tumblr, I had heard only high praises for the British shows, Misfits and Skins. Misfits is by far one of the funniest shows I’ve ever seen and I kind of have a crush on Robert Sheehan. I also randomly stumbled upon The Big Bang Theory bloopers on YouTube and even those made me crack up, which gave me the incentive to blindly purchase the dvds. And it’s amazing. I am making it my mission to attend a taping before I leave LA.

While I am still making my way through Parks and Recreation & 30 Rock, I have to say, I love NBC’s Thursday night comedy line-up. I know I am so late to The Office party, it’s not even funny. Within a course of 4 days, I watched every single episode on Hulu. What can I say? It was a boring finals week. And unlike other fans, I don’t think the show has necessarily lost its mojo, I for one, loved season 6. I caught the last few episodes of season 7 on air and while I do agree that it will be a different program, I think the show has potential to be great without Michael Scott / Steve Carell. One of my roomies always sang the praises of Chuck, so I gave that a try, too. It’s a great dramedy and I kind of have a crush on Zachary Levi, too.

FAVORITE NEW SHOW ALREADY ON AIR: This is such a tough decision because I love each and every one of the programs shown above. But it has to be Community. If Glee gets an Emmy nod and Community doesn’t, there’s officially no justice in the world. Even Community‘s “weaker” episodes are better than most shows’ best. And it’s two-parter paintball season finale was damn near flawless. Community‘s comedic style is exactly my cup of tea and I am officially the biggest Jeff & Annie fan ever. I would normally find a relationship between a 20-year-old girl and a guy who is nearly 40 to be disgusting, but they are absolutely adorbs. And to think I only discovered this gem because it was on sale at Target…I have so much love for Target.

Returning shows…

FAVORITE RETURNING SHOW / BEST OVERALL SEASON: This was really not a tough call, as a lot of these shows had lackluster seasons, The Vampire Diaries. Now, I am not one of those crazy TVD fans who stakes out polls on Entertainment Weekly until TVD reigns supreme, but this season was very strong overall. I am such a fan of Tyler & Caroline and I cannot wait to see where the writers take this storyline. We finally saw some progression in the Stefan / Elena / Damon triangle and Jeremy finally got some lovin’ and a relationship I approve of. No sophomore slump here.

ONE TREE HILL: Much like Glee becoming the Kurt Show at times, One Tree Hill morphed into the Brooke & Julian Show. And I love Brooke and Julian, but it was overkill with the babies. If the network would have let Mark Schwahn & crew do the abortion storyline intended for Brooke in season 4, it would have added another dimension to the fact that she is unable to have children. It just seemed too easy to have Brooke get magically pregnant, with twins no less. I love me some Stephen Colletti, but I think the fact that he is now a series regular says enough. We all know that One Tree Hill should have ended after season 6, if not season 4. Although OTH never racked up high numbers, as a long-time fan, it’s horrible to see how its fallen not only in ratings but in quality.

LIGHTS OUT: I won’t divulge too much because it hasn’t aired on NBC yet, but I thoroughly enjoyed the finale. It was the perfect end to a nearly-perfect show. Can we get some Emmy love, pwease?

I generally enjoyed 90210‘s season 3. I think the first half of the season why stronger, but it overall was exponentially better than Gossip Girl. The only thing I really liked about Glee season 2 was the return of Fuinn and we all know how that ended. As for Grey’s, hopefully this season will be its last and it can go out on a high note. It’s already losing its magic, I don’t buy any article that claims Grey’s is having a comeback. Just limit the Calzona, give Alex a substantial love interest, bring back Addison and reunite Mark & Lexie and you’ll be back on track.

So what’s going to be my summer obsession? Well, So You Think You Can Dance, obvi, but I also started watching Six Feet Under today and I’m loving it so far. I am also planning to spend this summer checking out Fringe, Parenthood, Modern Family and The Good Wife.  All I can say is, thank God for Netflix.

Five Times When OTH Jumped the Shark

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As a once avid fan of One Tree Hill, it pains me to say that the show has truly overstayed its welcome. If I had it my way, the show would have ended at season four and went out on a high note. Granted, seasons five and six weren’t necessarily god-awful, but I think OTH fans can agree that the show lost much of its spark. One Tree Hill has garnered some of the lowest ratings of all major networks and has been used as a punch line for its immortality. There are obviously more, but here are my top five times when OTH jumped the shark…

5. 1940s flashback (6.11 We Three (My Echo, My Shadow and Me)

This episode had no point, unless you count letting CMM write an episode. And it was bad. Really bad. The only way the episode could have been salvaged was to let Peyton actually die at the end. But of course, it was only just a dream. Rats.

4. Kevin Federline guest stars (season 5)

Why, Mark Schwahn, why?! There are countless other talented, bad ass rock stars who could have made a guest appearance. Britney’s hard core ex, K Fed, should not be included amongst them.

3. Deb & Skills / Dan & Rachel (season 5-6)

The older Scotts got some action with their sons’ classmates, Skills & Rachel. Deb & Skills were somewhat tolerable, but Dan & Rachel were disgusting. Sure, it made for some good laughs, but seeing Dan kissing Rachel is something I want to permanently erase from my memory.

2. Nanny Carrie & Psycho Katie (seasons 5-7)

Exactly how many demented psychopaths live in Tree Hill?! Apparently each canon couple on OTH needs a psycho-subplot: Peyton & Lucas had Psycho Derek; Nathan & Haley had Nanny Carrie; Brooke & Julian had the guy who kidnapped Sam and robbed Brooke; Clay & Quinn had Psycho Katie. I was fine with the Psycho Derek story line, more because it freaked me out more than anything. Nanny Carrie got a little ridiculous but the addition of Katie is just too much.

1. Dog Eats Dan’s New Heart (6.18 Searching for a Former Clarity)

Dan is smugly chilling in the hospital waiting room for his heart transplant. The guy with the heart trips over the dog’s leash and the ticker goes flying. And then the whole room watches in horror as the dog slurps down the core of the human body. The first time I saw this I laughed. Then I felt horrible. Then I felt disgusted. Finally I settled on feeling immense pity for the writers who put together that crap. If this isn’t a ‘jump the shark’ moment, I don’t know what is.

FALL SEASON REVIEW: 90210

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JMC119, you nasty whore. Thank you for taking over my life and making me pull two all-nighters in a single week. It’s a pretty big deal when I am willing to forgo my usual television watching routine to work on a project. For me, 7-9 p.m. is a sacred, untouchable time. Nothing and I mean nothing is going to keep me from watching my shows. I should get some major brownie points for my self-control. This, ladies and gentlemen, is what I call growth. And of course, once my schedule is finally free, it’s time for the winter hiatus. So I’m left with a bunch of lingering questions that won’t get answered for one to two months. Lovely.

I have a lot of catching up to do, so bear with me here…

I’m going to start with 90210. I am not even ashamed to tell people that I am obsessed with this show anymore. This season has been so good and I’m not easy to please. I still can’t stand Ivy, which I come to realize is mostly because of her name, but I am now such a fan of Teddy it’s not even funny. Last season, I hated Teddy with a fiery passion. He was the pawn that was going to ruin the already strained Dixon/Silver dynamic and I was not going to have that. But ever since the character of Ian was introduced, Teddy has become one of my favorites. And now that Teddy and I have finally made peace, I hear that Ian is leaving and a jock named Marco is going to be Teddy’s new boyfriend. Way to go writers, ruin my good mood.

90210’s fall season ended very nicely for me this past Monday. The entire forty and some odd minutes were loaded with cheese wiz and figgy puddings. Liam told Annie he loved her, Teddy finally fully came out to Ian, Naomi chose chicks over dicks and honored her friendship with Ivy instead of going for it with Oscar and Navid and Silver continued the typical 90210 pattern of constant cheating by succumbing to their built-up feelings and engaging in a lip-lock. For me, Oscar is only tolerable when he’s with Naomi. So either pair them up or kick him out. Silver with anyone but Dixon just doesn’t sit right with me and Navid…well, I’m sorry, but Joe Jonas > You. Oh and what about that cliffhanger? Naomi’s too busy turning Oscar down to realize that Mr. Cannon is back and is hiding in her house. I fully admit that that caught me completely off guard. Naomi seems pretty feisty, the girl could probably take Creeper Cannon down.

What am I hoping for second half of season three? Well, limited screen time for Ivy would be a great start.  But I’m sensing this won’t happen, so I’ll start with the more attainable items: I’d like to see Annie and Liam try to make it as a real couple. This, of course, would require Annie dumping Liam’s half-brother, Charlie and having a Charlie-free spring would make me very happy. He’s basically a less attractive version of Dr. Avery on Grey’s with a smoker’s voice.  Writers, please keep Teddy and Ian together at least for a few episodes.  Kyle Riabko aka Ian is way too good to be written off…*cough* make him a regular *cough*.  Now that Adrianna’s been exposed, I hope this means that stick that’s been up her ass for the past month has finally been yanked out. She’s going to have to be on her A-game once she realizes that one of her best friends and her boyfriend have been swapping spit behind her back. And can Dixon actually get a storyline? Now onto my more unrealistic wishes: Send Ivy and her scarily-identical mother out of Beverly Hills and somehow find a way to bring Silver out of her disturbing Navid-daze and put her back with Dixon. These are relatively simple requests and it would make one of your few fans happy.

I will leave you with my five favorite moments so far of 90210’s third season. If you are currently not watching this show, please put aside your judgments and give it a chance. It’s not brilliant by any means, but 90210 is definitely my current guilty pleasure show.

 

RECAP: 90210, How Much Is That Liam In the Window?

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Oh 90210, I have missed you, two weeks is just too long of a wait. I’m probably going to die during the long winter hiatus…no television = angry Kate.

Laurel / Oscar / Ivy / Dixon

The visual we’re slapped with first is Ivy and Oscar post-coitus. Insert Phoebe Buffay scream, “MY EYES! MY EYES!” Has anyone else noticed that seems to during every morning-after scene, the girl gets up and puts on some article of clothing with her back to the camera so just in case someone is slow, they can see that she’s naked. And then she just goes about her daily business bra-less. These scenes are usually met with an awkward encounter with either a parent and/or an ex and the girls are going completely free.

Oscar, you homewrecker, you. Sleeping with your friend to get back at your friend’s mother, who you slept with to get back at her for sleeping with your father and as a result of your father’s infidelity, your mother left your father…sounds like the perfect plan. Now that you have successfully pulled off your master plan, doesn’t this mean you’re leaving? Please say “yes.”

P.S. Grow up Ivy, Oscar’s ugly. And yes your mom is a whore.

Liam / Annie / Charlie

Liam is in desperate need of work. So desperate that he agrees to pose in a window and help customers at a clothing store…oh yeah, and he’s shirtless the entire time. Enter cougar who needs a errand runner and she’s offering him residence in her pool house a la Ryan Atwood in The O.C. Earth to Liam, people are not this nice. People suck. There’s got to be something else going on…surprise! She’s the mother of your “girlfriend” who is bat crazy for you.

Dear Charlie, I’d like you to make your exit from the Hills immediately. Annie may be so caught up in your French skills and your screenwriting abilities that she is blind to the fact that the only purpose of your character is to be a cock-block between her and Liam. I’m not that jaded. Please leave.

The half-bros also sport strange scars on their bodies that are reminiscent of serious fingernail scratches. I’m sensing this isn’t some sort of dual S&M thing, but this is tv land, I could be wrong.

Naomi

I probably should care more about the rape storyline since it’s a pretty serious issue, but I really don’t. I’m not the biggest fan of Naomi, she’s a watered-down version of Annalynne McCord’s character on Nip / Tuck. Ryan admits that he saw Mr. Cannon close the drapes the night Naomi was raped. Naomi and Silver visit Jen and the new baby with a teddy bear as a gift. Sensing that there may be a nanny-cam hidden in the teddy, Jen tears it to shreds with a knife…a part of me died watching the fluff massacre. After the demolition of the teddy, Jen finds out via baby monitor about the rape. Hopefully this storyline will be coming to a close soon, but I have a feeling it may be a season-long affair.

Navid / Adrianna & Silver

Adrianna’s creep of a boss forces her to pose topless for a photoshoot. She insists that she made the decision herself, but in a [completely original] surprise twist, Silver left her camera running at the shoot-site and captured CreepBoss coercing Ade into stripping. Ade finally admits to Navid that she stole songs from her deceased music partner and CreepBoss is threatening to go public. He forgives her, things are all good again, cue the sarcastic applause. Silver needs a legit storyline and she also needs to grow out her hair. I’m not digging the pixie cut.

I am so glad that my guilty pleasure television show keeps getting better. It’s easier to argue with people now that it’s a show worth watching.

RECAP: The Vampire Diaries, Bad Moon Rising

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“If werewolves exist, where the hell are they?” Ah, the age old question. Well Damon, they’re chilling in the woods with body-con wife beaters and shorts. Apparently the wardrobe of the howlers of the night is consistent across the spectrum.

Damon, Stefan and Elena question Alaric about the Lockwoods and the “furry problem” that seems to affect the family males. Damon is skeptic but says, “If this wolfman thing is true, I’ve seen enough movies to know that’s not good.” Except when it’s 120 odd minutes of a shirtless Taylor Lautner. Damon does some references to Don Chaney and Bela Lugosi, he’s a horror film nerd too. This is so meant to be.

Elena heads off to Duke with Damon and Alaric to read up on Isobel’s research. Isobel’s former research assistant goes rogue and attempts to skewer Elena with an arrow. Damon takes the shot (sigh, how brave) and then tells Elena to pull the damn thing out. That’s what she said.

Damon reveals he does not have the power to read minds. This is one area where Edward Cullen reigns supreme. But if you want to see him naked, all you have to do is ask.

Meanwhile the teens of Mystic Falls are relaxing at the watering hole whilst throwing back hoards of illegal alcohol in the standard red cups of shadiness. It’s the full moon tonight. I’m sensing the fur is going to fly. VampCaroline can’t catch a break. She is forced to wear the tacky ring so she can venture into the sunlight, whose powers can be relinquished by her witchy-poo amigo, Bonnie, at anytime; Stefan instructed to hunt and feed on an innocent bunny rabbit; and now her powers of compelling have driven away her boyfriend. I guess she really is a “psychotic control-freak” on crack.

Stefan and Damon are giving the disheartening news that a werewolf bite is fatal to a vampire. Better not piss off the Lockwoods tonight. Lame. We don’t even get to see the transformation of Uncle Lockwood. I was expecting a cringe-worthy “An American Werewolf in London”esque scene.

A mysterious growl sparks Stefan’s attention. He stupidly follows the sound and finds the van of Uncle Lockwood where the alleged transformation took place. A werewolf jumps out of nowhere and runs off. Caroline and Matt are getting jiggy in the woods when he cuts himself. Of course Caroline consequently goes nuts and starts feeding off his blood. The growl continues. Stefan takes Caroline and they flee the scene. Lockwolf tackles Caroline and Stefan throws him into the darkness.

I’m impressed CW. The werewolves on the show look less CGI than the Twilight ones. Props.

Tyler finds the wreckage of his uncle’s car. And his pants. He turns up looking like one of the chimneysweepers from Mary Poppins. Tyler has an epiphany: he’s a werewolf. Congrats, we knew that since last season.

The inevitable Damon and Elena chat. And yes, he’s lost her for forever. It’s like Damon just got shot with the arrow again, his reaction was painful to watch. He tells her that she has more in common with Katherine than he thought. Ooh burn.

Speaking of Katherine, she appears in Caroline’s room. But don’t worry; they’re going to have a lot of fun together.