Dear Doctor Friends, Please Stop

Whew. It’s been a hot second since I’ve had a good rant. Did you miss me? And this one has been brewing for a while.

I have a lot of friends in the medical field. Nurses, doctors-to-be, researchers, pharmacists…I’m often the odd one out at parties and large groups of friends. As you all know, I’m also tv fiend. Medical shows aren’t my go-to’s, but I enjoy watching them: Grey’s, The Resident, House, Private Practice, just to name a few. The medical field is also a popular profession for main characters in movies—and why not? They save lives. They’re rich. They’re typically unnaturally good-looking. AKA The Perfect Leads.

So, it will inevitably happen that I’ll be enjoying a beautiful declaration of love from Ashton Kutcher outside of a hospital (No Strings Attached), when the moment is ruined by my friend saying, “That’s such a parking violation. You can’t do that at a hospital. Last week at work….” STOP. You’ve ruined the moment for me.

On Grey’s this season, April had hypothermia and was without a heartbeat for 5+ hours and yet, still woke up fine and without brain damage. Just because I didn’t go to medical school, doesn’t mean that I can’t differentiate between what’s possible and what’s not. I didn’t need the 45-minute diatribe against Shonda Rhimes and the Grey’s writing staff.  What matters is that April DIDN’T die and I’m upset they missed this opportunity to axe her character.

I know that hospital personnel do not frequently bed each other in the on-call room. If a doctor comes to work drunk, they obviously aren’t given a banana bag and told to wait around until their blood work is clean. If a nurse walked in on a doctor screwing a patient, they wouldn’t jump in and make it a threesome. (Ok, SOME might. But let’s be real.) That’s an HR issue. That’s highly unethical. I’m not stupid.

In conclusion, to my “Smart Friends”: Let me have this. From what I can tell from your work stories, your average work day has the potential to be just as boring as mine. I want to watch a show that makes me suspend my disbelief just a little. I want weird medical cases. I want unnecessary drama. I want to watch desperate doctors cut l-vad wires to move their boyfriend up the transplant list.

I love you all—but please shut up. Let me spend an hour gazing at Matt Czuchry in peace.

What I’m Thankful For | 2017 Edition

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Happy Turkey Day (or for me, Happy Spaghetti Day), dear Americans!

I think we can all agree that this year has been hard, but we’re almost done, peeps! We made it! I think every day we’re all in need of some sort of escape, and I’m thankful for the following things for doing that for me…

Thank you…

  • YA Fantasy Authors for getting me into fantasy books for the first time since Harry Potter (and in that vein…)
  • Latinx music artists for upping the ante this year. I am loving all the Spanish in mainstream pop.
  • Tyler Posey, please stay on Jane the Virgin for forever.
  • Harry Potter for still being awesome after all these years and helping me fall asleep every night.
  • Ben Platt for his role in DEAR EVAN HANSEN. Thank you for playing a character with anxiety so accurately and compassionately and absolutely making my summer trip to NYC.
  • Jem Carstairs for being the ultimate book boyfriend. I wish I could claim you as my parabatai.
  • The CW for proving that Friday night programming can actually be quality. PS Everyone go watch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Jane the Virgin.
  • This Is Us & Stranger Things for beating that pesky sophomore slump. I’m SO invested in both shows right now. Shout out to Joe Keery and his fabulous hair.
  • Wonder Woman for being the first superhero film that I’ve actually liked in a long time. And Gal Gadot for just kicking ass in general.
  • Zac Efron for making a musical again and making my teenaged dreams come true.
  • Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne, and Niall Horan for each having AMAZING solo releases. People make fun of me less for still being a #1 1D STAN.
  • Dashboard Confessional for FINALLY releasing new music!!

and…

  • Every single publisher that has sent me books or approved my read requests. I am so incredibly happy to get more involved in the publishing world.